things you should know about my labor day trip to las vegas:

1. i won $150 playing blackjack. though i’m pissed because i was up $200 and lost $50 at the last minute. if that’s not ‘the glass is half empty’, i don’t know what is.

2. long beach iced teas and 105 degree heat do not mix well.

3. i miss the old vegas with it’s white trash families with overweight moms and mullet-wearing dads.

4. i think pretty much all girls look nasty in a thong bathing suit. guys do not agree.

5. a wave pool is only fun if you yell “wooooo” as the wave goes past you.

6. you CAN indeed get free drinks while playing nickel slots.

7. it’s hard to go anywhere with 12 people. you tend to move a little bit slower.

8. kevin is funny when he’s drunk. well...even FUNNIER than usual.

9. matt is a kick-ass dancer and i wish we had danced more.

10. i was inspired to get a new wardrobe after the pimp and ho ball at the palms. did you know that girls really do go out in public in a g-string, garter belt, and pasties? i do now.