First things first...the show wasn't very good. The opening was bad, even though I like Neil Patrick Harris, and I thought Steve Martin and Alec Baldwin's stand-up opening wasn't very funny. Steve Martin's later off the cuff stuff was funny, but that was about it. Didn't enjoy a tribute to horror movies (wtf?) and the people talking about the actor nominees wasn't as moving as last year. I did like the dance to the best score nominees and, of course, I liked the John Hughes tribute. But, who cares, right? We're here to talk fashion.
Ruffles, ruffles, everywhere:
I love the color but I'm not a fan of this type of dress which seems to pop up a lot. Too many ruffles!
Worst use of the color grey:
A lot of women wore grey/silver on the red carpet. Like A LOT. But I found that her hair color and complexion made this color all wrong. She later changed into this which I think I like better.
Best use of the color grey:
Okay, so maybe it's silver but damn, she's a silver fox.
Old lady dresses:
Marisa Tomei and Meryl Streep
Marisa just looks ridiculous but I was really disappointed in Meryl. She usually brings the kooky crazy but this just looks grandma-ish. I think it has shoulder pads.
Best way to draw attention to your boobs:
Don't hate the entire dress, per se, but hate the chest area. You can't help but stare at her boobs because those things are so distracting.
Worst attempt to combine two dresses:
I don't really understand this. Yes, the bottom is crazy. But I don't always mind the crazy dramatic. But it's just that the top sparkly part doesn't seem to have anything to do with the skirt. So my overall vote is a NO.
Lifetime achievement award for most uncomfortable in a dress on the red carpet:
Oh, Tina. I just don't know what to do with you.
Oh, wait, she wore that as a dress? Crap.
I'm a sucker for burgundy and man, she wore it well.
Most embarrassingly similar dresses:
Jennifer Lopez and Amanda Seyfried
So apparently Armani made both of these dresses and they are pretty damn similar. The great news is, I hate both of them! Amanda's seriously stiff breast plate freaked me out and JLo's hip tumor seemed silly. Points to Lopez for being just naturally beautiful though, no matter how annoying. Amanda's a two time loser because she changed into this terrible number for the after party.
The Just Say No to tight updo's award:
Sorry honey. Jennifer Lopez might have the face to pull off a bun but you, sadly, do not.
Token male review:
Mickey Rourke was not in attendance so we get to focus on Quentin. He wore a regular tux to the Oscars but he did seem either drunk, high, or sick while presenting. But I was happy to see that he changed into his standard leather, hip hop trainwreck for the after parties.
Can't we just change the color of the dress? Please?:
Demi Moore and Anna Kendrick
I'm really not a fan of the "nude" color or "blush" or whatever you want to call it. At best it's boring and, at worst, it totally washes a person out. Demi's dress almost perfectly matches her fake tan. But I do really like the dress for some reason. And Anna's dress is lovely and soft and fits perfectly. It was just sort of blah in a sea of shiny sparkly stuff on the red carpet. Though it is WAY better than the unfortunate dress she changed in to.
Jamie Foxx and Stacey Dash
I was flipping channels and caught Foxx giving an interview and who was on his arm? Stacey Dash. One of my favorites from "Clueless" and "Renaissance Man". Apparently they're dating. Or something. Weird. But I've always thought that she was gorgeous.
Best dress on a non-famous person:
Okay, so she's not totally incognito, but Lenny Kravitz's daughter (with Lisa Bonet) looked really pretty. I like that.
The most retro:
Yes, crazy, but she's rad and pulled it off.
Dress with a sense of humor:
At first glance, I liked Carey's gown. It wasn't as unflattering as her previous ones and, though I thought it was really bedazzled, I didn't mind it. But then people started talking about what all the stuff on the bodice was...little tiny scissors and forks and knives. I like it.
What's going on here?:
Leslie Mann and Salma Hayek
I stared at Leslie Mann's dress for 5 minutes and my first thought was that she was pregnant. She's not. And Salma is just trying to hypnotize me.
The dress that caused the most inner turmoil:
Sarah Jessica Parker
I just don't know. On the one hand, she's SJP so she has to wear something non-traditional. On the other hand, it's basically a bag with no shape. On the other hand, I kind of liked the buttercream yellow on her. On the other hand, her hair is big and weird. On the other hand, I kind of enjoyed the back. I just don't know.
The award for surprising me by looking really great:
Maggie Gyllenhaal, Kelly Osborne, and Kristen Stewart
Surprisingly good, no? I usually think Maggie either looks like a bag lady or an alien and I really liked her last night. I admire her choice of a print when no one every does that. And the colors, cut, and hair were all very pretty. Kelly Osborne yes, has purple hair which is atrocious, but I was shocked when I saw the dress. I really like it. And Kristen Stewart who is BY FAR the worst public speaker I have ever seen actually chose a pretty rad dress. One of my favorites.
Most people thought she looked great. I thought she didn't look like herself at all. She usually brings the quirky young style with interesting dresses. But this A-line shiny ballgown was boring. And so was her hair. Just not into it. She changed into this which I realize isn't out of this world, but I like it better. I guess I don't like big skirts on her.
Best dress on a woman who has no business looking good:
Is it me or is that dress kind of rad? The gold metal accessories are slightly weird, but I'm just kind of down with the cut and color. Christ, I've even forgotten that it's one shouldered. What's wrong with me?
Diane always always wears interesting high fashion stuff. Sometimes it's great, sometimes it sucks. But I was not feeling this. The big puffy parts just in the middle section just turn me off. And, to make matters worse, I thought it was the worst hair and makeup she's had in a long time. She did change into this and maybe it's just the sweet Pacey arm candy, but she looks better.
The worst dress on my favorite person. I am sad. This two piece David's Bridal number just plain SUCKS though.
Sandra Bullock, Rachel McAdamsand Kate Bosworth
When Sandra showed up on the red carpet, I wasn't sure. Was it too gold? But the top detail and the shots from the chest up were just lovely. And on stage in high-def that dress kicked ass. I do love Rachel's dress a lot. The multi-color tie-dye esque pattern is kind of rad. And the dress looks totally comfortable while being dramatic. Love it. And, shockingly, I really like Kate Bosworth's dress. She usually looks like a starving skeleton, but I love the color and the cut. Bravo.