Golden Globes 2010 Recap

I was sad when I realized that I'd be out of town for the Golden Globes this year because I like to have a little get-together with my favorite ladies and make snarky comments at the screen and watch Ryan Seacrest chase down celebs. But this year I was in the Doubletree Hotel in Pittsburgh. So there I gathered my few friends in my hotel room and we watched on my sad 36 inch tube tv. We also don't get the E! channel here so I was forced to watch Billy Bush on NBC. Ugh. Annoying. I won't go into the show really (Ricky Gervais was okay but barely on...I hate James Cameron) but here's the really important stuff.


I applied too much spray tan:
Penelope Cruz
I love her but she looked orange on TV and didn't love the dress.

I'm accessorizing my head:
January Jones
A few people had headbands and I thought hers looked quite nice.

I'm too young to dress this old:
Jennifer Garner and Lea Michele
Lea is young, fresh, and plays a teenager on a show called "Glee". Nothing about this outfit makes me think she's any of those things. She looks good, but it's a little sad. Poor Jennifer, who I adore, has 55 year old hair and the dress, while she looks good in it, is too old for her. And she has lost too much weight.

I'm too old to dress like this:
Heather Graham and Kate Bosworth
Ah, Heather Graham. Remember when she was young and hot? And Kate. A little braid? Really? And oh my god eat something please!!

I'm big but I'm bringing it:
Mo'Nique
Mo'Nique is a big girl. But I think this dress is a nice choice for her and she looks lovely. And her speech made me laugh and cry. And she really is the one and only performance this year that knocked it out of the park.

I'm old but I'm working it:
Helen Mirren, Glenn Close, Sigourney Weaver, and Meryl Streep
Love these ladies. Mirren always looks phenomenal, I don't understand how Glenn is so muscular, Sigourney is a classy lady (and Stanford alum), and Meryl is Meryl.

I'm avant-garde so deal with it:
Diane Kruger, and Chloe Sevigny
First of all, I always expect the weird from our friend Chloe. This is no exception. It's fairly ugly but I thought it was cool that from the side it looked like the front and back weren't connected. She's so cool that she changed into another crazy outfit for the after-party. And Diane Kruger. How can you not love her when she's dating Pacey who is so obviously adorable? The dress was weird but in her close-up shots, the top is so interesting and textured that I thought it worked.

I wish I was avant-garde:
Amanda Seyfried
I love Amanda on "Big Love" but this is just too much for her to pull off. You're no Chloe.

I'm most improved!:
Jenna Fischer and Maggie Gyllenhaal
I've gone on record for usually hating poor Jenna's outfits but this is an improvement. Not great, but she looks more comfortable and the hair is more natural. And Maggie actually looks good here. I've called her an alien face and usually her dress choices are awful. And while the top of this is weird, I kind of like it and like the details and the color.

I'm actually a wax figure:
Cher and Christina Aguilera
Ugh. Yuck.

I am auditioning for the next "Star Trek" movie:
Julianna Marguiles
This particular picture actual makes the dress look okay. But the waist up shots looked weird because her boobs were squeezed in there and I didn't like the geometry.

I am abusing my bust:
Mariah Carey and Christina Hendricks
Mariah has squeezed into a too-tight dress again and looks ridiculous with her son, oops I mean husband, holding her umbrella. And I understand that Christina knows that men love her GIGANTIC boobs. But my goodness are they highlighted.

I need help:
Jennifer Morrison, Lauren Graham, and Amy Poehler
Jennifer...I don't like the old lady hair, I hate the pukey color, and the ruffles are overwhelming. Lauren...that color does not suit her and the satin isn't doing her any favors. And Amy, poor Amy. I love "Parks and Rec" but this red is overwhelming, the pink lipstick doesn't match, and the top is cut way too high and is too heavy.

I'm the worst dressed here:
Julianne Moore and Tina Fey
Oh goodness. Julianne...a pretty lady but that dress is so so unflattering and yucky. Even with those bitchin' emerald earrings she's not a winner. And Tina Fey. My god. I know she often looks weird when she dresses up but that is one of the worst skirts I've ever seen. Terrible length, terrible stiffness, terrible pattern.

I refuse to let the one shoulder trend die:
Kate Winslet, Jennifer Aniston, Reese Witherspoon,
Marion Cotillard
All of these ladies look lovely as usual. Kate looks so sophisticated, Jen's leg looks bangin', Reese looks skinny with FABulous hair, and Marion looks cute and French. But wouldn't these dresses look just as good with no straps or two straps? Help me out people.

I'm Drew Barrymore, bitches:
Drew Barrymore
So obviously I love Drew. That is well known. And, while this dress has weird sea urchin things coming out of the shoulder and waist, I kind of like it. Maybe it's because I love her hair and makeup but I think she looks nice. In spite of the urchins.

But I'm Julia Roberts, bitches:
Julia Roberts
Julia, Julia, Julia. Lately I've heard some rumors that Julia's a pretty big bitch. I think she thinks the world revolves around her and, that may be valid in some ways. But I have to admire someone who showed up to the red carpet wayyy tipsy after many limo cocktails and then proceeded to hang on Tom Hanks and make fun of everyone on live TV. And damn. That smile really does light up a room. Or Los Angeles.

I'm the next big thing so I need to do better:
Anna Kendrick and Carey Mulligan
Anna and Carey were both fantastic this year in "Up in the Air" and "An Education". They are young, nominated for Golden Globes, and can wear whatever and whoever they want. So I was really disappointed in Anna's RUFFLED one shoulder (the only way to make the one shoulder worse) and Carey's dowdy black heavy dress. I kept wanting to pull it up.

I'm all sparkly!:
Anna Paquin, Toni Collette, and Lindsay Lohan
I'm a sucker for sparkles I think. Maybe because I would NEVER wear them. But Anna looks crazy but cool, Toni looks fantastic, and Lindsay...well, Lindsay is Lindsay. She's wearing a HOOD with sparkles.

I'm making you confused:
Cameron Diaz, Kate Hudson, and Nicole Kidman
I am torn on these. Do I like Cameron's red lipstick and red dress? At first I thought the shoulders were too extreme but now I might like it. And at first glance I hated Kate's dress but the white sort of pops in a sea of other dresses. Too architectural though? And Nicole...it's boring but her hair is nice (and red) and it's kind of lovely.

I look surprisingly good:
Ashley Olsen
I am not a fan of the Olsen twins. They generally look like homeless trolls but, breaking news, I think I like this. LOVE the color and the detail on the top is kind of rad.

I am the best dressed:
Ginnifer Goodwin, Sandra Bullock, Emily Blunt, Zoe Saldana, and Courtney Cox
I can't get over how cute Ginnifer Goodwin looks. The cool top works perfectly with the short hair and I love the color. Sandra is one of my favorites and I've seen her in some TERRIBLE dresses but I thought this looked nice on her. Emily is marrying Jim from "The Office" so she's a winner. I don't want to like Zoe because she only weighs 90 pounds but I really like this dress. Love the color and, while the details are very different, I think it kind of works. Then there's Courtney. Totally boring black but she looks GREAT. I mean, check out this close-up. Did she make a deal with the devil or what?

I get the Lifetime Achievement award:
Halle Berry
Holy shit.