never fear, i'm here

i finally got a free minute here at work so i can post something that i've been meaning to let you guys in on. i think i've got the solutions to this country's problems. i know you're excited.

WHAT AMERICA NEEDS RIGHT NOW:

Less talk about breasts

More talk about one of the best Superbowls in a while

More movies with talking animals

More diet pills…because we don’t have nearly enough

A Coffee Bean one block from my house

Less talk of how sad we’ll all be when “Friends” ends

More talk about how great “Scrubs” is

Less American versions of British TV shows and more British TV shows

Shorter work hours

More public transportation so I never have to sit in traffic

Flying cars…just for my amusement

Home frozen yogurt dispensers for my kitchen

Less Bennifer, Ashton and Demi, Cameron and Justin, and Scarlett Johansson

More places that do take-out besides Chinese

More affordable flat-panel plasma televisions

Less Americans dying in Iraq for no reason

Less films released (if it means better quality)

A ban on high heels in the workplace

A better health care system so I don’t go broke trying to buy a new pair of glasses so I can see

More than a two party political system

…and please…. More Joan Rivers red carpet events