work is time consuming

it's been quite a while since my last post and it seems like it's been a decade. i started a new job and it's been long long hours and hard as hell. working from 7:30 am to 9:00 pm doesn't leave much time for socializing. i basically get up early, go to work, come home, watch about an hour of tv and go to bed. exciting right? but still, those 13 hour work days go by surprisingly fast. there doesn't seem like there's enough hours in the day to get everything done. this job's a little different for me because i'm not an assistant anymore. which i am thrilled about. but, at the same time, i'm experiencing something i wasn't prepared for. when you're not an assistant, work is hard. you have to take responsibility for your actions which means you could fuck up. you have to be a boss to other people and teach these inexperienced kids. and sit them down and tell them when they've messed up. you have to be aggressive, outspoken, and decisive. and guess what? i'm not any of those things. i don't know if it's because i've never done it or because i just don't have it in me...but there it is. it's probably a bit of both. but it's a hell of a lot harder than i thought. i'm thinking that any minute i could get fired so i'll try to keep you posted.