Lessons from the Heartland, Part 1:
T. Dawg and the Exploration of Madison as a Utopia

i'm about to fly away from this sleepy little party town they like to call madison and i'd say it was a pretty damn sucessful trip. i've taken a page out of the speakmemory handbook on how to title a dissertation chapter/blog post and have tried to live up to her standards. (see the colon in the title!!?) this is only part 1 and a part 2 will follow with visual aids once i get back to my computer-camera cord in los angeles. until then, some lessons learned in the heartland....

I have another category of people I hate...those people that immediately turn on their cell phones the minute a plane’s wheels touch down on the runway. And I don’t mean sitting at a gate which might be acceptable. But the plane was still bouncing from landing and this ass next to me turns on his cell and proceeds to call his little daughter and talk loud enough for the whole plane to hear. Is this necessary?

In Madison at crosswalks they have little boxes of orange flags on sticks. I was perplexed until taryn showed me that you picked up a flag and waved it as cars as you crossed then deposited the flag in the box across the street. Amazing.

Things are cheaper in the middle.

Towns are quieter in the middle.

There are lots of bodies of water in the middle of America. Lakes I mean. There aren’t a lot of lakes in Southern California. Probably because it’s a desert I suppose.

Cous cous is an underrated food and very easy to make. Note to self: make more cous cous.

There are places in this world when you can get “The Onion” in print for free.

People excuse ridiculous, embarassing behavior by saying "he's from Ohio". This obviously means something if said in LA but apparently it also means the same thing in Wisconsin even though I was confused by it. Isn't Ohio basically the same as Wisconsin?

Houses in Madison are approximately 900,000 or 1 million dollars cheaper than comparable houses in LA. That’s right people. I said 1 million dollars.

Knitting is quite a popular hobby.

The literature PhD crowd talks about authors and scholars the same way we talk about actors and directors.

The undergraduate uniform is basically the same from coast to coast – jeans or some sort of yoga pants, North Face fleece or school sweatshirt, and flip flops. Of course the flip flops are a little ridiculous when it’s 30 degrees out but who am I to judge?

Daniel Powter’s “Bad Day” song is as horrible in Madison as it is in Los Angeles. And it still makes me laugh.

People in coffee shops and cafes feel comfortable leaving their bags and computers unattended at tables while they wander around or buy coffee. Incredible!

Madison contains the best onion rings I’ve ever had in my life. Delicious.

According to popular local legend, there exists such a thing as “fried cheese curds” which are apparently out of this world. I have yet to see such an item.