Only in LA...

...does the local mall have a four-piece orchestra performing in the outdoor food court on the weekends.

...am I unemployed one hour and have an insane 15-hour a day job the next hour.

...does the neighborhood Vons grocery store have a pianist near the produce section.

...does it take 30 minutes to drive 3 miles.

...is there constant traffic between 6:30 a.m. and 9:30 p.m.

...is the airport PACKED at midnight.

...do I have to hear Ryan Seacrest on the radio AS WELL AS on the television.

...do you forget that people under the age of 16 and over the age of 55 exist.

...do you get charged $10 for a sandwich, burrito, or hamburger.

...do you get to watch a fountain dance to Donna Summer’s “Last Dance” and love it.

...do you eat breakfast next to Luke Perry, Dominic Monaghan (hobbit), and Katherine Heigl (Grey’s Anatomy...why don’t you watch it!?)