god bless this country

*edited to add - i just read this again and realized my stream of consciousness is not only difficult to read but extremely uninteresting. sorry. *

wow. words can not describe the 2 hour spectacle that i was lucky enough to see last night. and i'm not talking about 'lost' because, sadly, it's really not worth talking about. no, i am speaking of america's national treasure, THE "american idol". what a show they put on. i mean, it was so bad and so wonderful that words can't describe it. i was prepared to fast forward through an hour and 45 minutes but there was no need. each segment was more ridiculous and awe inspiring than the next. let me briefly walk you through it...

first we got to cut to each finalist's home town rally. it looked like there were about 100,000 taylor fans in alabama and they panned the crowd over and over again. then we cut to katharine's home town of los angeles. well, i mean to say they cut to a very tight shot of a crowd of about 50 at universal studios. so sad. this city is not wowed by celebrity.

next chris the rocker sang on stage with the band live whose lead singer looks just like him. then we got some pre-taped segments with dumb kellie pickler eating "crazy" food like lobster with wolfgang puck. quality.

next up was possibly the most frightening portion of the evening and that's when katharine sang with meatloaf. have you seen meatloaf lately? it's not good. and i think he was trying to act out the song which made it even more frightening. i think katharine was scared.

taylor sang with the boys in a medley which included some harmonica playing. awesome. i love that kid. katharine sang with the women and we were all reminded again of how big mandisa is. truly. i hate to say it but it can not be avoided.

little nice elliott yamin sang U2's "One" with Mary J. Blige and man was that a spectacle. kind of rad if i'm forced to admit it. but i loved elliott because the whole time his facial expression was screaming "damn! i can't believe i'm hear singing U2 with mary j. blige in front of 200 million viewers!" i can't believe it either elliott.

the worst duet of the night / most amazing was taylor and toni braxton. yeah, remember her? they sang a duet and she was either a) drunk, b) high, c) extremely horny. she dressed and danced a bit on the whorish side for american idol, then she kept trying to rub up against taylor and make him put his arms around her. taylor totally resisted making it awkward and awesome. someone get that woman a man.

clay aiken made his first public appearance since his whole gay hotel encounter. i thought with his crazy new mop of red hair and weird expressions that he looked like a child molestor. but maybe that's just me. dionne warwick came out after that and did a little medley which i found boring but passable.

then as seacrest does what he does best, he is interrupted by a "surprise" guest...Prince. man, that guy is small but he can rock. have you ever seen such dance moves on a 5 foot man clad in purple?

at this point i was just over the moon with the spectacle of it all. i was sitting next to john on the couch telling him what he had been missing when taylor and katharine walk out and start singing "I've Had the Time of My Life" from Dirty Dancing. it was then that i turned to my dear husband and said "could this get ANY better?" the answer is no people.

taylor won and in a cloud of fireworks and smoke and a 25 person choir, he sang his terrible/wonderful single, "do i make you proud". hell yeah. god bless the usa.