golden globes

So of course I was joined by some of my favorite ladies last night as we watched the Globes and the red carpet. I have to say that the actual awards show was one of the best ones in a long time. Lots of interesting winners and touching speeches. Ricky Gervais' presenter speech was absolutely hysterical which is odd since I don't really love him. Then Tracy Morgan accepted the "30 Rock" award and I almost fell out of my chair. Combine that with my girl Kate Winslet winning two awards and it was awesome. Of course, Kate got to publicly declare her love for Leo which was rad. Other highlights included a completely anorexic Sally Hawkins accepting her best actress award (totally overwhelmed with emotion), a lovely Slumdog Millionaire cast getting so choked up as their film won, a tearful Marty Scorsese presenting Spielberg with the Lifetime Achievement, a funny Tina Fey telling her haters to "suck it", Alec Baldwin being Alec Baldwin, Colin Farrell all cleaned up, looking good, and winning an acting award, and Paul Giamatti, Laura Linney, and Tom Hanks accepting "John Adams" awards and showing why they are all classy professionals. But f- all that class. Let's talk about fashion.

All in all, an extremely underwhelming red carpet due to one unescapable trend - nude and bland colors. We decided that stylists told their stars it was a recession so they had to not be showy and wear nudes, beiges, taupes, and other colors that completely wash people out.

TTHE BLAND LEADING THE BLAND

Salma Hayek can wear any color under the sun and she chooses a boring beige.

Amanda Seyfried was great on "Veronica Mars" and is also fantastic on "Big Love" but ugh, bland color. AND WILL THE ONE SHOULDER TREND PLEASE DIE ALREADY?! How many years must we endure it?

Isla Fisher's color is boring but I really don't like the dress either.

America Ferrera has been looking hot lately in some red and maroon dresses that I've seen her in yet she chooses to wear this dress which is a boring gray but most importantly, a totally unflattering style.

Penelope Cruz can be va va voom but this color is LAME.

Beyonce. No.

Demi Moore is damn hot for her age but I still think she should have chosen a color.

Kristin Scott Thomas has been quality from way back in the "Four Weddings and a Funeral" days but this dress is boring. She looks lovely but the color is blah.

Elizabeth Banks seems like a funny, normal girl who I would want to hang out with. Which is why I think this dress is not only pale pink and washes her out, but it's too "soft" for her. Pretty dress I guess but didn't love it on her.

Angelina Jolie practically lives in grey. But I guess she can do no wrong.

One of the dresses I sort of liked in a washed out color was (oddly enough), Vanessa Hudgens.

And here's the other pale dress I liked on Brooke Burke.

NICE CLOSE-UP

Some people got their hair and make-up quite right.

While I think Amy Adam's dress is not quite right for her (never liked her in black), but I think her soft hair, make-up, and earrings are lovely.

I never love Laura Linney's dress choices (though this isn't too bad), but I thought her close-up was nice and I liked her earrings. :-)

WHAT IN THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE?

Rachel Griffiths seems like a rad woman...smart, not anorexic, a good actress...but her fashion choices are odd. This dress is wrinkled the minute she steps out of the car and it appears to just be wrapped and draped very oddly.

Will someone please give Rita Wilson a reality check? Remind her of her age and that she is not now (nor ever was) a supermodel. What in the hell kind of silver fringe sparkly number is that?

Blake Lively is a very attractive, very young woman on a show that basically exists to show off fashion. So why is she wearing a bad prom dress? Really? Not good. And fix your hair.

Melissa George was kind of good on "In Treatment" but I don't understand this dress. Again, it's like folded over but what is that? A plastic bow?

Maggie Gyllenhaal, really? Really?! Teal leopard print? Yuck.

Jennifer Lopez, you never disappoint. So predictable. Even if it is a gold shimmer scarf draped around you.

Taraji P. Henson, you are good in "Benji Button" but this fabric is heinous. Which designer would actually choose it to make a dress?

RAD OLD PERSON AWARD

Susan Sarandon. Cool.

TRAGIC OLD PERSON AWARD

Glenn Close. My god, Glenn. You are not 80. You just ran a marathon last year. Why are you doing this to yourself?

COLOR!

A few people chose to wear color with varying degrees of success.

I will admit that Eva Longoria looked good even though it's pretty plain.

Loved this color blue on Jennifer Morrison from "House". (Though the hair was wrong.)

Christina Applegate chose a bright yellow and I am so happy that she's triumphed through her breast cancer and come out looking lovely, but I don't really like this dress.

Kyra Sedgwick also chose red but I don't like this dress. Plus, as usual, she looks too skinny and her hair was cemented in place which looked odd.

I realize Anna Paquin is only wearing a dark plum color, but I like it. I thought she looked lovely and I was glad "True Blood" got some love.

Jenna Fischer seems like a very nice person. And is just so cute on "The Office". But goddamn she picks the worst dresses. This print is not good. Worst of all was her TERRIBLE hair. I couldn't find a picture of the back of her hair but it was atrocious. Poor girl.

Mary Louise Parker is one crazy ho but she looks rad. Gorgeous color.

Cameron Diaz is a hot mess as usual but for some reason I love this. LOVE IT.

WORST CULPRITS OF THE "NAPKIN" TREND

While the one-shoulder trend has persevered, I can't imagine this napkin trend will last. It's hideous.

Eva Mendes was the biggest culprit which is sad because I think she is one of the most gorgeous women working today.

Kate Beckinsale could use that napkin at the top of her dress as a bib...if she ever ate anything.

I realize Heidi Klum's "napkin" is more of a flower, but still...not good. Hard to make a tall supermodel look good, but she accomplished it!

APPLAUSE FOR A GIRL WHO DOESN'T USE A STYLIST!

Love it or hate it, at least Marisa Tomei is interesting and an individual.

TERRIBLE HAIR AWARD

Debra Messing takes the cake for worst hair I think. I don't think this pic does it justice because it was the biggest, ugliest, fake ponytail I've ever seen.

Tina Fey never does "dress up" very well. I think she's more comfortable in jeans and sneakers. But damn, this hair is bad. The tease up and over in the front reminded me of 6th grade.

Megan Fox is a young gorgeous girl but this hair is too severe.

DISAPPOINTING WOMEN I STILL LOVE

Anne Hathaway is edging towards unlikable lately but I'm going to keep enjoying her until she does something really egregious. This dress almost gets her there but not quite.

Sandra Bullock. Sandy! My girl! This is boring.

Oh Kate Winslet. How I adore you. Total class act, beyond talented, seem to be smart yet can tell a good dirty joke. Have a lifelong really cool friendship with Leo. And right now your body is rad. You might possibly be at your peak. So why are you wearing this boring dress? Black? Stale silhouette? I expect more at the Oscars.

MOST ADORABLE COUPLE

Okay, they are not a couple, but Frieda Pinto and Dev Patel from "Slumdog Millionaire" are so cute.

WORST. IN ANY AND EVERY CATEGORY.

And the honor goes to Renee Zellweger. Wow. Beyond tragic hair. And a dress that I can't fathom. The top is...see through? The bottom is a tight mermaid? She looks like she is constipated? Having an accident? I don't understand.

CRAZY...BUT I LOVE THEM.

The male winner has to be Mickey Rourke obviously.

But the female? My girl crush of course! Drew Barrymore!!! I actually really liked her dress. I would have liked it better in a color but I think it was a lovely cut and look great on her. But then there's her hair. It's teased, it's poufed, it's hairsprayed in place. It doesn't look good. Yet...does it? She is rad and crazy so YES IT DOES.