the maryland boy

that's my new 2nd assistant. no need to mention names but he's just a good kid from maryland who's just landed in hollywood. he's been an intern but this is his first real job. so he's green. very green. and nervous as hell. i feel bad for him but he's doing okay so far. or at least he hasn't quit yet. the hard part will be actually trusting him to do stuff because i'm such a control freak. but that time will come. in the meantime, his presence here today has lead to some good and bad things.

the good news is that with maryland here, i was able to leave for a few minutes during lunch. it was glorious. do you know that it's been warm here? yup. i sat in the sun outside on our little patio with tables and chairs and just did nothing. it was awesome. not a full hour lunch break, but we'll get there. i didn't want him to have a coronary or anything.

the bad news is that for the past hour, maryland has had some green piece of food stuck in his teeth and i don't know what to do. i feel bad for the kid but i can't bring myself to say it when i've only known him for about 7 hours. but wait! he's come back from the bathroom and it's gone. thank goodness. and i know some of you will be like, 'man, you have to say something! what a bitch!' but please. you can't just say that to strangers. it just embarassing to the person. so screw that.

now, the really bad news is that somehow the fbi or homeland security got a tip that people were planning a "terrorist attack on a mall near the federal building in west l.a." well, now if you know l.a., you pretty much know that that means century city mall. the mall surrounded by tons of office buildings and skyscrapers. of course, my company just happens to inhabit the office tower directly across the street from the mall. so all day we've been treated with sights of police cars, fire engines, helicopters, news vans, and orange cones. of course, i find it hard to believe that the overweight middle-aged man wearing a bike helmet and a "security" shirt while riding a ten-speed is really going to stop a terrorist with a bomb. but that's just me.