to anonymous reader LF

i just wanted to say that it was lovely to run into you in the bathroom of the new padres stadium. in a crowd of 42,000 you're likely to know someone, but to run into them in the bathroom? i love it. thank god we were struck with the bathroom urge at the same time during that 7th inning. of course, i want to apologize for my appearance. after talking to you for five minutes (surrounded by women in line, sinks, and dirty paper towels) i looked in the mirror and realized how grotesque i really looked. i didn't wash my hair that day for many reasons, mainly because i'm lazy. the lack of make-up can be explained with laziness too though i prefer to say that i was protesting the media's horrific emphasis on outward beauty. the hideous jacket i was wearing wasn't, in fact, mine. rather it was my mom's and it was four sizes too big, puffy, and had fur around the collar. ordinarily i wouldn't be sporting such an awesome jacket, but it was 40 degrees out and i was freezing, even with my thermal underwear, jeans, t-shirt, long sleeve shirt, sweatshirt, gloves, and blanket.

and i want to please ask you to keep reading, though feel free to make a comment every now and then! i know you said you're "not funny enough", but trust me, none of my friends are funny. fatso? he gets his one-liners from leno. ten percent? drunk and incoherent. spring break? stoned and depressed. so , don't be scared, comment away.