christmas comes twice a year

that's because the other christmas day is oscar day. an extravaganza of fashion and botox and female friends at my house eating appetizers and dinner and dessert for hours at a time. as usual, i have a fashion recap. i do apologize for the number of links but i love all the dresses! unfortunately, there were no huge missteps this year so i don't have much to make fun of. except joan rivers. my favorite is when she asked british actress imelda staunton if she got to meet the real vera drake before she died. the poor woman had to tell joan that vera drake was, in fact, a fictional character. oh joan....

first up we've got penelope cruz who of course is gorgeous and looked great from the front....but a huge bow on your ass? i think i remember this look from 1988.

speaking of 1988, scarlett johanasson seems to have copied my crimped hairstyle from that year. except, no one told her that it was ugly then and it's uglier now.

the men were boring as usual but i thought spike lee's shriner's cap was particularly heinous.

i hated laura linney's awful hair and awful dress but no one can argue that salma hayek isn't totally hot.

drew barrymore is totally cute as usual but check out the anonymous woman next to her! crazy.

i don't want to be a bitch, but how long before clive owen trades in his plain jane with a bad dress wife? hey, i'm just being realistic...

renee zellweger needs to stop. stop whatever she's doing to herself. start eating and start actually moving some facial muscles. it's paining me. she looks so uncomfortable. and stop wearing mrs. claus outfits.

elle macpherson may be a model and mischa barton may be some young fashion ingenue, but they both scare me.

and one of the biggest surprises of the night wasn't the awards, but the fact that leonardo dicaprio actually showed up with his girlfriend giselle bundchen. but i love this photo of her dress which is the only picture i could find that makes her look weird. yay for me.

and, finally, i saw a lot of looks that reminded me of my wedding day. my dress' back is sort of like this and i'll be striking this model pose for most of my pictures. and later in the evening, when it gets a little chilly outside, i've got this jacket to keep me warm.