golden tuesday

not much has prompted me to blog recently but today is different because the gloden globe nominations were announced. more interesting than the oscars because they include comedies, television and movies, and alcohol, i LOVE the gg's. i've been told recently (and not so recently) that i have very strong opinions on movies. i don't know what happens when people start talking about actors and movies...i immediately go into warfare mode and everyone who disagrees with my opinion obviously must be an idiot. (OBviously). i think people at work were a bit taken aback when i called a certain kirsten dunst a disgusting snarled tooth actress with sagging boobs and no talent. or when i called scarlett johansson an ugly whore with no talent. get the picture? anyways, here are my uncensored reactions to the golden globe nominations. yes, i am typing as i read the list i printed out for the first time.

best picture drama...
what the f*&%! they managed to nominate two of my least favorite movies of the year. 'constant gardener' was sooo not good. but it can't even COMPARE to the sludge that was 'history of violence'. that movie was horrible. more than horrible. painful. foreign people are clearly idiots if they think it is a good movie. i haven't seen 'matchpoint' but see my point about scarlett johansson above.

best actress drama...
maria bello in 'history of violence'...puhleeze. how much can i say how bad of a movie this was? it's nice to see felicity huffman getting props since she is a good actress and is stuck on that crappy 'desperate housewives'. and yes i watch that show but still. clearly there are so few good roles for women that the two actresses who just have to be in a movie to get nominated did, indeed, get nominated. at least i'll be interested to see what gwyneth and charlize will wear.

best actor drama...
russell crow in 'cinderella man'...hmm...people keep saying this movie is great. maybe i should try to see it. the other nominees are all good actually. david strathairn was great in 'good night and good luck' and phillip seymour hoffman was amazing in 'capote'.

best picture musical or comedy...
'pride and prejudice' yay! 'walk the line' yay! but 'mrs. henderson presents'? really? do they have to nominate judi dench for everything? i would have liked to see an awesome surprise nom for '40 yr old virgin' but the foreign press just doesn't roll that way. oh, by the way, 'the squid and the whale'? sooo overrated. and i didn't laugh. so not much of a comedy is it?

best actress musical or comedy...
um, i love this category because it included sarah jessica from 'the family stone'. which i haven't seen yet because it's not released but it's still my favorite picture of the year. though reese witherspoon should win this of course. and she's a great dresser.

best actor musical or comedy...
go joaquin! i usually don't like mr. phoenix but he was amazing as johnny cash. plus he's a weirdo so that adds excitement to the red carpet. the other dudes have no chance. which is fine.

best foreign language film...
um, yeah...i don't see foreign language films.

best supporting actress...
arghh!!! that bitch scarlett johansson! as i recently told a male friend who is in love with her, "you just love her because she has huge cans." he actually responded, 'yes, totally.' hello! is that all it takes? the other nominees are fairly lame except that would be rad if michelle williams won because she was totally on 'dawson's creek'.

best supporting actor...
argh! more awful movies!! i don't understand why people like bad movies. 'syriana' was not good but i'm fine with the clooney nomination because he's funny. but matt dillon in 'crash'? first of all, hated the movie. second of all, um, matt dillon? do we really want to start taking him seriously? i don't think so.

best director...
woody allen, you're sick and make bad movies. george clooney, wanna hang out? peter jackson, how did you lose so much weight!!?? ang lee, you're quiet and weird, but sometimes make good movies. fernando meirelles, 'the constant gardener' sucked. sorry dude, someone had to tell you. and steven spielberg, no one has seen your movie yet, but i just hope it has a happy ending and that aliens come down to save the israeli hostages.

best tv series drama...
it is a fact that television nowadays is better than feature films. better writing, better storytelling. my two favorite shows on tv? 'lost' and 'grey's anatomy' and they're both nominated! take that bitch. i'm sad 'the shield' and 'rescue me' were ignored, but i'll let it go this time.

best actress tv drama...
patricia arquette is a rad nomination just because she always looks like a train wreck. glenn close was amazing on 'the shield' though. she should win.

best actor tv drama...
hey taryn, hugh laurie got nominated! and he'll probably win too because they won't seriously give an award to patrick dempsey or matthew fox. it's just nice to be nominated guys.

best tv series comedy...
hmm...pretty poor choices here. 'desperate housewives' will win but my vote goes to 'my name is earl'.

best actress tv comedy...
all of the desperate housewives!! and mary louise parker who is pretty. hmm....

best actor tv comedy...
i still vote for jason lee even though he is a scientologist. though maybe steve carrell will win to reward him for '40 year old virgin'.

best supporting actress tv...
yeah for sandra oh! i like her even though john says she "looks weird". i tell him she's just asian but he doesn't think that's it.

best supporting actor tv...
naveen andrews on 'lost' is rad because he's dating an old barbara hershey. cool. jeremy piven is not cool but funny so i'll take it.

and that's it folks! i'll be watching in january, will you?