gg '06 recap

oh, how i love the golden globes. television AND movies without all of those boring art direction categories. here's my recap...

funniest moment on the red carpet
joan rivers wasn't TOO embarassing but she did have one little episode that i died laughing about. emma thompson came with colin firth ("nanny mcphee" people) and joan greets emma and reads off her card "and with her is greg wise." yeah, that's emma's husband (and also star of "sense and sensibility") but that's not colin firth. so colin tells joan that no, he is not greg her husband but he is colin firth. that was funny but not nearly as funny as what happened next. someone must be yelling in joan's ear about all of the movies that colin firth has been in because she suddenly starts talking to him about "pride and prejudice". of course colin did star in the a&e mini-series in the mid-90s so at first he's on board. but then he realizes that she's talking about the movie that's nominated with keira knightly. i think he tried to correct her a few times but she didn't get it AT ALL. after her ramblings he just sort of said goodbye as he was dying laughing at her. oh, how rad.

most awkward red carpet moment
you think i'm going to say it was when isaac mizrahi felt up scarlett johanasson. but it's not because her boobs are so out there and obvious that any mention of them isn't awkward at all. no, it was when isaac said to hilary swank, "now that you're single are you dressing up and hitting the town?" um, yeah. she just announced a TRIAL separation. like yesterday. and it's not a divorce. so she gets flustered and says "i'm not single and i'm still trying to save my marriage." aww, poor hilary.

best acceptance speech
steve carrell. no surprise.

most surprisingly good acceptance speech
geena davis. did she just bring the funny?

most tasteless joke of the night
that would be when dennis quaid introduced best picture nominee "brokeback mountain" by saying it was something that rhymed with chick flick. really, did you just do a dick joke about that movie?

biggest snob
gwyneth paltrow in her tribute to anthony hopkins kept calling him "antony". you're not british. or italian.

best surprise cameo
busy phillips from dawson's creek sitting next to michelle williams at the brokeback table. man she looked out of place but i love the dawsons love.

looking good....

evangeline lilly from "lost". it's not a great picture but that color looked great on her.

michelle williams. sure, when i finally saw the bottom of this dress today i was a bit horrified. but she looked so cute and pretty and happy that i have to give it up.

felicity huffman usually looks a little man-ish but i was proud of her outfit and thought she looked better than the other housewives.

who in the hell can pull off short hair? no one i know yet natalie portman looks so pretty. classically beautiful and pretty lace dress.

i'm on the fence on this one but i guess she's pretty and looks good in white. keira knightly looks like she should eat and the belt (?) and curtain cords (?) are weird but she looks good.

sandra oh's dress has some weird maxi pad wing things happening on the side of the chest but i still love her because she's feisty and on my favorite show.

terrible....

you all know my feelings about on ms. johansson so it's not surprising that i think she looks like a hooker. as i said last night, her boobs got to the party about 15 minutes before she did. put them away girlfriend.

chloe sevigny is always a guaranteed train wreck so thank you again ms. sevigny.

i know rachel weisz is pregnant but that's no excuse. the hair was bad, the color was awful, and the top was horrible looking.

when i first saw penelope cruz i mistook her from an extra send from the 1980s set of "dallas". her big hair is terrifying and the dress is lame and unflattering.

red. satin. unflattering. horrible lipstick. not. good. poor geena davis.

brace yourself for one of the most anorexic people ever...ellen pompeo from 'grey's anatomy'. i'm bummed the picture is so small but oh well. if you can't tell, she's trying to hide her bony ass under an ugly dress but her bones are still protruding out. she also has a nice yellow shine from not eating. poor poor girl.

gwyneth paltrow - pregnant AND 80 years old.

oh please stop teri hatcher. the sequins don't distract from your odd bony body and bad plastic surgery. i feel sorry for her.

yuck.

as always, melanie griffith is scary. she gets older, things sag more, and she still wears the same low cut dresses with slits up to here.

oh, how are you in charge of 'project runway'?

worst dress of the night? just some woman named dayna devon from "extra" but it still counts. horrible.

when bad fashion happens to good people

i don't know if you can tell in this picture, but drew barrymore is not wearing a bra. and it was distracting.

i adore emma thompson and colin firth but emma's fashion for this evening was a bit suspect. the dress didn't support her bust and was too shiny and unflattering.

i'll give it up for the princess diaries but anne hathaway made some bad decisions. one shoulder a-symetrical is kind of lame and the dress made her look pregnant. and i think her lips are eating her face.

blonde? really?

most disappoing of the whole night by far was reese witherspoon. she is usually an impeccable dresser and she looked awful last night. i don't know where she got this dress but it's not good. weird silver metallic? and metallic beads that cut off mid breast no less? plus the waist line that has tons of pleats to make your ass and hips look big? what was she thinking? even worse, check this out. you know if snarly tooth dunst is wearing your dress, it's bad news.