bridal expo 2004

wow, what a weekend. what a sunday! the golden globes were awesome and i'll get to those later, but the highlight (or lowlight) of the weekend must have been the bridal expo. yeah, probably sounds scary to you but for some reason i wasn't prepared for this event.
my first clue at the craziness that i was about to endure probably should have been the 4 gigantic SUV limos parked outside the san diego concourse as we walked up. the brass band was playing 'here comes the bride' so loud that i could barely hear myself think. but when i did hear myself i was saying, 'oh my god, there are those ghetto fabulous rims on that limo...the kind that keep spinning when you're stopped...wow, can you imagine riding up to your wedding like that?'. jesus.
after we waited in line and actually bought tickets to go in, i was given a 'bride' sticker to wear on my chest so that the hundreds of vendors could recognize my buying power and swoop down upon me. in an effort to curtail that, i discreetly placed the sticker on my sleeve, hoping that might lessen the frenzy. it didn't really work. luckily my mom, sister, and stacey were there to protect me. you can't imagine the insanity of this place. hundreds of wedding vendors (photographers, djs, florists, etc), and probably thousands of psychotic brides.
now, don't get me wrong, there were some good things. there were a ton of cake places all giving out samples. there were some beautiful florists there with gorgeous flowers. and there were some great photographers. but the lowlights are FAR more amusing than the good things so i'll outline some of them here. of course, there was no doubt that i would be writing about this because as stacey and i watched the fashion show (yes, fashion RUNWAY show), we turned to each other and said, 'i'm totally blogging about this.'. what nerds. so the lowlights in no particular order:

- the bridal fashion runway show. i could write pages on just this. the raddest part had to be when lots of 17 year old pseudo local male models came out in tuxedo pants and just vests (no shirts!) and went into the audience to hand out roses. guess who got a lucky rose from a pimply faced teenager? yup, stacey. other highlights included a sad middle aged woman singing 'when you're good to mama' from chicago during the 'mother of the bride' portion of the show, a transvestite (NO JOKE) black man/woman modeling a white wedding gown, and the crappiest music you have ever heard in your life over five dancing bridesmaids with masks on. weird.

- the eduardo photography booth...lots of gold frames, lots of soft focus shots of couples near a sunset, and one in particular of a couple in their wedding attire rolling around in the surf. yikes.

- the scary 80 year old violinist begging us to ask her what to play.

- the one cake vendor who had the balls to give out samples that tasted like dry sand.

- the tiara headpiece vendors. all of them.

- the ghetto bombastic dj booth that was blasting the longest extended remix of the electric slide that i have ever heard.

but, all in all, it was fun. and the one thing that i discovered is that my wedding is going to be dope. fun as shit. so if you're invited, you better come. you don't want to miss it.