advice to all job seekers

i'm sure i'm not the best interviewee. i'm sure i've been nervous and untalkative and haven't come off that well. but i refuse to believe that i'm as bad as most of the people that i'm interviewing. and i'm not that scary of an interviewer!!

things to avoid at a job interview:

1. do not wear jeans and a t-shirt that looks like it was purchased in 1992 during the best concert of your life - lollapalooza.

2. do not get so nervous that you can't ever look me in the eye and end up looking down the whole time making it seem like you are staring at my chest.

3. do not immediately ask what the salary is.

4. do not, i repeat, do not have a weak-ass handshake. don't be weak, don't be clammy, don't be limp, and don't miss my hand as you go to shake it.

5. don't be twelve years older than i am.

6. do not admit that you're not really interested in the job but just need to pay the rent.

7. do not have 10 piercings in each ear and a big ear lobe loop to stretch out your skin and expect me to not 'judge' you. bite me.