come on, y'all

seriously. you remember this girl?

sure, it's not an outfit i would have chosen but i do remember when guys thought britney spears was hot and she'd do these supposedly sexy dances and shake her ass and tight abs. ahh, the year 2000. how long ago it seems. have you all been keeping track of her latest looks? this poor girl is falling apart. i'd like to blame it all on her no good husband kfed but, unfortunately, i've heard her talk and, once you've had that voice burned into your brain, you can't help but come to the conclusion that she's a dumbass. but still, who is dressing this poor woman?

here she is at the SAG Awards.

the amazing thing about this is that i SWEAR that colleen crouch wore this exact same dress to a 7th grade dance. no joke. it is almost identical. back then colleen rocked it but someone must tell ms. spears that it is no longer 1991. this is not good. and her hair is tragic. and a choker? i gave all of my velvet chokers away in 9th grade.

to make matters worse she shows up at a pre-Grammy party last week wearing THIS:

words can't describe the horror. now, i'm not going to bag on the girl for gaining some weight. she had a baby, she has to live with the "man" on her arm and people follow her everywhere. that would all lead me to some good pizzas and burritos too. so fine. but you can't dress the same honey! you can't wear the same thing you wore 5 years ago when you weighed 105 pounds. this is frightening. it is WAY to short and the stripper shoes look like they are from contempo casuals or some shit.

then came the actual grammy's. i think i liked it better when this girl stayed home.

the top is hideous, the "train" is ridiculous and the poor girl needs to get her roots touched up. i am happy that there must have been a 2 for 1 sale at contempo casuals because she's wearing the same type of hideous heel with a slight variation. classy.