oscar fashion 2009

So I was expecting a lot of blandness on the red carpet this year. I thought people would play it safe and we'd see a lot of beige, taupe, and grey. What I got was so many unflattering dresses and missteps that I really enjoyed it. Too much white in general, but man, all the choices in the world and this is what you choose? Let's kick this off...

LOVE THE GAL, HATE THE DRESS

Oh Freida. This was your chance. You are young, hot, the newcomer, everyone is interested in you, and you've been wearing such cute things. So this lace, one-sleeved number was terrible. Like, really terrible. Beyond the lace and the one-sleeve which you obviously know my feelings on...it just looked OLD. Like something a 60 year-old would wear. Paired with old lady hair and jewelry and I hated it.

Reese Witherspoon is a cute girl. A year or two ago she became this fashion icon on the red carpet but now Jake Gyllenhaal has infected her with lameness and she chose this heinous dress. Unflattering, ugly, messy, dumb.

Heidi Klum is 10 feet tall, skinny, gorgeous, and, surprisingly, seemingly nice and funny. Everyone says she could wear a burlap sack and look hot. So clearly she put that theory to the test. I believe a bolt of fabric was wrapped around her...still not sure about the color. On TV it looked hot pink but everyone said it was red. Either way. Her hair is yucky and looks dirty, her makeup is bad, and her jewelry is ugly. Theory proven wrong.

I don't have anything against the extreme nature of Sarah Jessica Parker's dress. She's SJP and she has to wear something over the top. But this? I don't know. I do know her boobs were so pushed up that they were hitting her chin. And I really found her dark hair distracting. A miss for me.

I didn't know if I should include Anne Hathaway in the girls I love category but I folded. She's had a hard year so it's okay that she keeps blabbing on about herself. Besides, she says she likes to drink and I can see myself having fun throwing back a few cocktails with her. But I did not like this dress. I wanted her to wear color and she didn't. And the whole cut of the dress I thought was unflattering. It laid across her chest oddly and I wasn't into it. Decent hair and makeup though.

Amanda Seyfried is adorable on "Big Love". She was also on "Veronica Mars". And apparently she starred in one of the highest grossing movies ever this year, "Mamma Mia". She's young, adorable, on the rise, and yet she chooses the worst dress I've seen in years. As Stacey said, "very Sophisticated Lady". It was orange (I think), had a folded over neckline the likes of which I have not seen since 8th grade, a BOW, and the shittiest length imaginable on a dress. Boo.

Speaking of "Big Love", I love Ginnifer Goodwin on that show. But not in this. Ever.

Rachel Griffiths is awesome on "Brothers and Sisters" and "Six Feet Under". All I can saw is this must have been comfortable.

Naomi Watts just had a baby. Cool. Your body looks awesome. You are rad. But your dress is crap (the boob area is scaring me) and your hair looks bad.

My god Rachel Weisz. Pull it together. This is the Oscars dammit.

Beyonce, Beyonce, Beyonce. I learned this was from the collection you and your mother design. You mom is a nut job and this is clearly from her couch. Ugly as sin.

and my last minute addition to this category is Amy Adams. I originally didn't think I hated the look, but, in pictures, it's bad. The chiffon attached to the front is weird and the black lines are distracting. And the necklace doesn't go. So I guess the decision was made for me.

WORST HAIR

Runner up was nominee Melissa Leo. You can't tell that much in this pic but it's blown out in sort of an 80s mom way. Not good. (And yes, the dress is hideous but I'm too tired to discuss).

But worst hair had to be Lisa Rinna. I guess if you wanted it to distract from your face, you succeeded.

YOU'RE CRAZY/RAD/A LEGEND SO IT'S OKAY

A new category but some of the winners....

Sophia Loren obviously has to be mentioned. But if you're pushing 80 you can do whatever you want, right?

Meryl Streep is the best actress of all time. She can wear whatever she damn well pleases. (I wouldn't have minded if you went a little easy on the "up" curls you did though).

Tilda Swinton. Who in the hell is this alien woman?!! Hysterical.

Marion Cotillard is young, French, and a rock star for all I know. So I guess this is okay.

Philip Seymour Hoffman is so good in everything he does. So this black ski hat must be forgiven. Or not. Okay, NOT.

Mickey Rourke should and can wear whatever. But what got me here was this little picture of his dog around his neck. Oh my gosh that's amazing and touching. When he started talking about it on the red carpet to Seacrest I almost cried.

I DON'T KNOW...I GUESS IT'S OKAY?

Everyone loves Jen Aniston and feels for her. She had to present an award about 10 feet from the woman who stole her husband. So I guess she looked good. The dress isn't terrible. Her braided hair is cute. Right?

Penelope Cruz is so cute. She seemed so happy to win. And this dress is vintage and probably so pretty in person. On her it's not that flattering and looks sort of like a wedding dress though.

People were over the moon about this Natalie Portman number. I guess it's cute but it didn't knock me out.

Nicole Kidman. Predictable. Boring. Feathery.

Angelina shocks me by wearing a black, plain dress. Amazing. It's no wonder why we all think she's a goddess. (Okay, the emeralds were insane though).

Evan Rachel Wood looks pretty good. The color looks okay with her skin tone and the dress is vaguely pretty. The hair is a bit crazy for me though.

LOOKIN' GOOD LADIES

Newcomers Tariji P. Henson and Viola Davis both brought it. I especially love Tariji's outfit. Which is weird because I find her annoying.

Oddly enough, I liked Diane Lane's dress. The frayed top, the layers, the rocker necklace. Kind of cool.

CONTROVERSIAL LIKES!!

I don't think anyone else liked these but...

The more I look at it the more I love Marisa Tomei. It was high fashion but it was kind of rad. Even with the one shoulder. And she is just so naturally beautiful, especially in close-up without crazy jewelry or too much mystic tan.

It's insanely beaded, including hanging strands of beads, it's one shoulder, it's white...all things I hate... but I think Carrie Underwood looks pretty.

And to get even more insane, I sort of liked Miley Cyrus' dress. Clearly I just need some sort of different outfit out of boredom. But I swear, this dress (with all its sparkles) looked insanely awesome in Hi-Def. I really can't believe I'm saying this either since I find her so annoying.

I THOUGHT SHE'D LOOK SHITEOUS AND SHE ONLY LOOKED BAD

And that award goes to Madonna. Don't get me wrong, the dress is bad. The hair looks like mine when I don't blow dry it (sort of awesome) but her face doesn't look as psycho as normal. An improvement?

AND THE AWARD FOR WORST DRESSED....

First, our runner-up, Ms. Jessica Biel. Terrible hair, terrible makeup, obviously terrible dress, terrible length, terrible shoes. The funny thing is that she then changed for the after-party. Her new look was almost just as bad.

But the worst dressed of the evening was my favorite actress on the planet, Kate Winslet. It started with ugly helmet hair that looked crunchy, went on to a one-shoulder strap, continued with a chest area that showed the corset and boning she was wearing, tacked on a lace tablecloth to just one side of the skirt to make her look extra hippy, and finished with a boring grey color. So wholly disappointing. Kate said today on the Oprah show that she called her 8 year-old daughter just as she got off stage and the first thing her daughter yelled at her was "You're wearing grey!! You shouldn't have done that!" Agreed.

the oscars happened

Before the fashion (ugly), a brief couple of notes about the show.

1. I had really REALLY high hopes for Hugh Jackman. He's hot, charming as hell, and can sing and dance which I love. Love musical numbers. Usually. But those song and dance numbers completely disappointed me. The opening wasn't that good but then the medley with Beyonce and the young kids was TERRIBLE. Baz Luhrmann, you should be ashamed. My god.

2. What I did like was the way they presented the acting awards. At first it kind of freaked me out. But then I really enjoyed seeing the past winners and then seeing the nominees get choked up as some of their idols described how much they enjoyed their performances. The most personal and heartfelt ones were most touching (ie Shirley McClaine to Anne Hathaway) and other presenters should have done their research better (Alan Arkin calling his nominee "Seymour Philip Hoffman").

3. For the first time I was actually seriously nervous, tense, and invested in the announcement for Best Actress and Best Actor. I was going to just die for Kate if she didn't win an Oscar after all this build-up. And then the Rourke vs. Penn fight was a good one. Obviously wanted to see Rourke's speech but Penn deserved to win.

4. Tina Fey and Steve Martin were so great together. That would be a fantastic hosting duo.

5. Too many montages!! Goddamn people. A montage for Romance, Action, Comedy, and Documentaries of 2008? Too much. And it just reminded me that no one can make a good chick flick. Pathetic.

6. Robert Pattinson really couldn't believe he was presenting at the Oscars. Nor can we. But I'm sure he's to thank for the 10% increase in ratings from last year.

7. The Japanese guy who won for short film or something who could not speak any English ended in "Domo arrigato, Mr. Roboto". So rad.

p.s. re: the GGs

a few more favorite moments...

Megan Fox on the red carpet telling E! that she truely believes she is a tranny and "so painfully insecure that I'm on the verge of vomiting." The weird thing? She was telling the truth. I thought she might throw up right then. And more honesty from her? "I basically starved myself for a month." Yup. At least you told the truth.

Beyonce telling ET that she can't breathe in her dress and right afterwards she was going straight to In N Out Burger to eat. Also honest and also rad.

Ryan Seacrest showing his desperation as he climbed down off his platform and chased Brangelina down the red carpet. Did they stop or turn around? Nope.

Alec Baldwin grilling aforementioned Seacrest about the latest girls he was sleeping with. Ryan finally got frazzled. Amazing.

David Duchovny making a point to say "his wife" on stage so that we all know he's not really getting a divorce, despite his recent stint in rehab for sex addiction. Really? You needed to say that?

Tom Hanks telling Access Hollywood's Billy Bush that "Your tan is as fake as my sincere sentiment." :)

golden globes

So of course I was joined by some of my favorite ladies last night as we watched the Globes and the red carpet. I have to say that the actual awards show was one of the best ones in a long time. Lots of interesting winners and touching speeches. Ricky Gervais' presenter speech was absolutely hysterical which is odd since I don't really love him. Then Tracy Morgan accepted the "30 Rock" award and I almost fell out of my chair. Combine that with my girl Kate Winslet winning two awards and it was awesome. Of course, Kate got to publicly declare her love for Leo which was rad. Other highlights included a completely anorexic Sally Hawkins accepting her best actress award (totally overwhelmed with emotion), a lovely Slumdog Millionaire cast getting so choked up as their film won, a tearful Marty Scorsese presenting Spielberg with the Lifetime Achievement, a funny Tina Fey telling her haters to "suck it", Alec Baldwin being Alec Baldwin, Colin Farrell all cleaned up, looking good, and winning an acting award, and Paul Giamatti, Laura Linney, and Tom Hanks accepting "John Adams" awards and showing why they are all classy professionals. But f- all that class. Let's talk about fashion.

All in all, an extremely underwhelming red carpet due to one unescapable trend - nude and bland colors. We decided that stylists told their stars it was a recession so they had to not be showy and wear nudes, beiges, taupes, and other colors that completely wash people out.

TTHE BLAND LEADING THE BLAND

Salma Hayek can wear any color under the sun and she chooses a boring beige.

Amanda Seyfried was great on "Veronica Mars" and is also fantastic on "Big Love" but ugh, bland color. AND WILL THE ONE SHOULDER TREND PLEASE DIE ALREADY?! How many years must we endure it?

Isla Fisher's color is boring but I really don't like the dress either.

America Ferrera has been looking hot lately in some red and maroon dresses that I've seen her in yet she chooses to wear this dress which is a boring gray but most importantly, a totally unflattering style.

Penelope Cruz can be va va voom but this color is LAME.

Beyonce. No.

Demi Moore is damn hot for her age but I still think she should have chosen a color.

Kristin Scott Thomas has been quality from way back in the "Four Weddings and a Funeral" days but this dress is boring. She looks lovely but the color is blah.

Elizabeth Banks seems like a funny, normal girl who I would want to hang out with. Which is why I think this dress is not only pale pink and washes her out, but it's too "soft" for her. Pretty dress I guess but didn't love it on her.

Angelina Jolie practically lives in grey. But I guess she can do no wrong.

One of the dresses I sort of liked in a washed out color was (oddly enough), Vanessa Hudgens.

And here's the other pale dress I liked on Brooke Burke.

NICE CLOSE-UP

Some people got their hair and make-up quite right.

While I think Amy Adam's dress is not quite right for her (never liked her in black), but I think her soft hair, make-up, and earrings are lovely.

I never love Laura Linney's dress choices (though this isn't too bad), but I thought her close-up was nice and I liked her earrings. :-)

WHAT IN THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE?

Rachel Griffiths seems like a rad woman...smart, not anorexic, a good actress...but her fashion choices are odd. This dress is wrinkled the minute she steps out of the car and it appears to just be wrapped and draped very oddly.

Will someone please give Rita Wilson a reality check? Remind her of her age and that she is not now (nor ever was) a supermodel. What in the hell kind of silver fringe sparkly number is that?

Blake Lively is a very attractive, very young woman on a show that basically exists to show off fashion. So why is she wearing a bad prom dress? Really? Not good. And fix your hair.

Melissa George was kind of good on "In Treatment" but I don't understand this dress. Again, it's like folded over but what is that? A plastic bow?

Maggie Gyllenhaal, really? Really?! Teal leopard print? Yuck.

Jennifer Lopez, you never disappoint. So predictable. Even if it is a gold shimmer scarf draped around you.

Taraji P. Henson, you are good in "Benji Button" but this fabric is heinous. Which designer would actually choose it to make a dress?

RAD OLD PERSON AWARD

Susan Sarandon. Cool.

TRAGIC OLD PERSON AWARD

Glenn Close. My god, Glenn. You are not 80. You just ran a marathon last year. Why are you doing this to yourself?

COLOR!

A few people chose to wear color with varying degrees of success.

I will admit that Eva Longoria looked good even though it's pretty plain.

Loved this color blue on Jennifer Morrison from "House". (Though the hair was wrong.)

Christina Applegate chose a bright yellow and I am so happy that she's triumphed through her breast cancer and come out looking lovely, but I don't really like this dress.

Kyra Sedgwick also chose red but I don't like this dress. Plus, as usual, she looks too skinny and her hair was cemented in place which looked odd.

I realize Anna Paquin is only wearing a dark plum color, but I like it. I thought she looked lovely and I was glad "True Blood" got some love.

Jenna Fischer seems like a very nice person. And is just so cute on "The Office". But goddamn she picks the worst dresses. This print is not good. Worst of all was her TERRIBLE hair. I couldn't find a picture of the back of her hair but it was atrocious. Poor girl.

Mary Louise Parker is one crazy ho but she looks rad. Gorgeous color.

Cameron Diaz is a hot mess as usual but for some reason I love this. LOVE IT.

WORST CULPRITS OF THE "NAPKIN" TREND

While the one-shoulder trend has persevered, I can't imagine this napkin trend will last. It's hideous.

Eva Mendes was the biggest culprit which is sad because I think she is one of the most gorgeous women working today.

Kate Beckinsale could use that napkin at the top of her dress as a bib...if she ever ate anything.

I realize Heidi Klum's "napkin" is more of a flower, but still...not good. Hard to make a tall supermodel look good, but she accomplished it!

APPLAUSE FOR A GIRL WHO DOESN'T USE A STYLIST!

Love it or hate it, at least Marisa Tomei is interesting and an individual.

TERRIBLE HAIR AWARD

Debra Messing takes the cake for worst hair I think. I don't think this pic does it justice because it was the biggest, ugliest, fake ponytail I've ever seen.

Tina Fey never does "dress up" very well. I think she's more comfortable in jeans and sneakers. But damn, this hair is bad. The tease up and over in the front reminded me of 6th grade.

Megan Fox is a young gorgeous girl but this hair is too severe.

DISAPPOINTING WOMEN I STILL LOVE

Anne Hathaway is edging towards unlikable lately but I'm going to keep enjoying her until she does something really egregious. This dress almost gets her there but not quite.

Sandra Bullock. Sandy! My girl! This is boring.

Oh Kate Winslet. How I adore you. Total class act, beyond talented, seem to be smart yet can tell a good dirty joke. Have a lifelong really cool friendship with Leo. And right now your body is rad. You might possibly be at your peak. So why are you wearing this boring dress? Black? Stale silhouette? I expect more at the Oscars.

MOST ADORABLE COUPLE

Okay, they are not a couple, but Frieda Pinto and Dev Patel from "Slumdog Millionaire" are so cute.

WORST. IN ANY AND EVERY CATEGORY.

And the honor goes to Renee Zellweger. Wow. Beyond tragic hair. And a dress that I can't fathom. The top is...see through? The bottom is a tight mermaid? She looks like she is constipated? Having an accident? I don't understand.

CRAZY...BUT I LOVE THEM.

The male winner has to be Mickey Rourke obviously.

But the female? My girl crush of course! Drew Barrymore!!! I actually really liked her dress. I would have liked it better in a color but I think it was a lovely cut and look great on her. But then there's her hair. It's teased, it's poufed, it's hairsprayed in place. It doesn't look good. Yet...does it? She is rad and crazy so YES IT DOES.

Golden Globe noms for 2008

So the Golden Globe nominations were announced and the best thing is that there will be a lot of star power among the attendees. Which is all that really matters as an avid red carpet watcher. I haven't seen all the movies yet but let's do a little run down of the main categories...

Best Motion Picture, Drama
Curious Case of Benjamin Button
Frost/Nixon
The Reader
Revolutionary Road
Slumdog Millionaire
First off, I can say that Slumdog Millionaire is absolutely awesome. I am hoping this wins though I haven't seen the Reader and Benji Button yet. I can also add that the Frost/Nixon nom is well deserved but Revolutionary Road was not good. Just not a movie that needed to be made. It stole a nomination from Dark Knight and Milk as far as I'm concerned.

Best Motion Picture, Comedy/Musical
Burn After Reading
Happy Go Lucky
In Bruges
Mamma Mia
Vicky Cristina Barcelona
Wow. I really can't comment on any of this. I missed Burn After Reading because I was in Europe and I hear that In Bruges and Vicky are really good. But I heard Mamma Mia sucked and I don't even know what Happy Go Lucky is. Damn Role Models was robbed and probably Tropic Thunder too. There is really no respect for the straight-up comedies.

Best Actor Drama
Leonardo DiCaprio in Revolutionary Road
Frank Langella in Frost/Nixon
Sean Penn in Milk
Brad Pitt in Benjamin Button
Mickey Rourke in The Wrestler
Well, Leo was good in Rev. Road but he won't win. Frank Langella was a great Nixon but I actually thought Michael Sheen was more impressive as Frost. No one listens to me though. I'm seeing Milk tonight but I'm sure Sean Penn is great. I'll weigh in on this later. Brad Pitt? Really? Haven't seen it but I have my doubts. And I hear the Wrestler is great and I should be seeing that next week. So I guess I'll weigh in on this category later....

Best Actress Drama
Anne Hathaway in Rachel Getting Married
Angelina Jolie in Changeling
Meryl Streep in Doubt
Kristin Scott Thomas in I've Loved You So Long
Kate Winslet in Revolutionary Road
So it's no secret that I didn't really enjoy Rachel Getting Married. And while I'm a huge fan of Anne Hathaway, I didn't really like this performance. It's good, but more overacting. Have I mentioned Changeling yet? Guess what everyone? Listen up. THIS MOVIE BLOWS GOATS. Ugh. What a mess. And I think Angelina is an overrated actress. She's fooling everyone but she can't act that well. I'll see Doubt next week but I'm sure Meryl is awesome. Haven't heard of the Thomas movie and while Kate Winslet is awesome as usual, I didn't find the movie that good. So who in the hell am I rooting for? I know Kate wants to win an Oscar so I guess I vote for her.

Best Actor Comedy
Javier Bardem in Vicky Cristina Barcelona
Colin Farrell in In Bruges
James Franco in Pineapple Express
Brendan Gleeson in In Bruges
Dustin Hoffman in Last Chance Harvey
Don't really have an opinion except that Javier Bardem is hot. Dustin is good in Last Chance Harvey but not award worthy.

Best Actress Comedy
Rebecca Hall in Vicky Cristina Barcelona
Sally Hawkins in Happy Go Lucky
Frances McDormand in Burn After Reading
Meryl Streep in Mamma Mia
Emma Thompson in Last Chance Harvey
I'm rooting for Meryl or Emma because I want to hear an acceptance speech from one of them.

Best Supporting Actor
Tom Cruise in Tropic Thunder
Robert Downey Jr in Tropic Thunder
Ralph Fiennes in the Duchess
Philip Seymour Hoffman in Doubt
Heath Ledger in The Dark Knight
Okay, this category is really offensive. Let's keep in mind this is a category that combines Comedy and Drama. But Tom Cruise in Tropic Thunder? It's an extended cameo for godsakes. And he's just dancing. He gets a nod instead of the Milk supporting cast or the kid in Slumdog? Offensive. I'm sure Heath Ledger will win and it's probably the most deserved.

Best Supporting Actress
Amy Adams in Doubt
Penelope Cruz in Vicky Cristina Barcelona
Viola Davis in Doubt
Marisa Tomei in The Wrestler
Kate Winslet in The Reader
Clearly I have to try to see this Vicky Cristina Barcelona movie. I have a soft spot for Marisa Tomei from My Cousin Vinny though.

Best TV series, Drama
Dexter
House
In Treatment
Mad Men
True Blood
Go True Blood!! Mad Men is overrated and I don't watch Dexter (I know, I know). In Treatment was decent but really an actor's showcase. I will not comment on House which took a spot from The Wire and The Shield. There are no words.

Best TV series, Comedy
30 Rock
Californication
Entourage
The Office
Weeds
The Office is consistently the best.

Other things to touch on...I hope Anna Paquin wins for TV actress though I'm sad that no one else from True Blood got nominated. I also think that Danny Boyle deserves to win Best Director for Slumdog Millionaire. Amazing.

What do you think?

the globes

These nominations are so goddamn terrible that I can't bring myself to comment right now. Need a few hours to calm down.

emmys 2007 - fashion!

Well, as bad as the Emmy Awards were, at least the ladies mixed it up a little on the red carpet. I still wish there were less stylists and more train wrecks, but at least people discovered color this year. And there were LOTS of colors. Some prettier than others.

First category...

FABULOUS AND OVER 45

I give it up to the older women who still look damn good. Starting with the younger ones, Julia Louis-Dreyfus looked pretty damn good for 47. We all agreed that she clearly has fake boobs but the dress color was fantastic and so was her hair and makeup.

At 49, Michelle Pfeiffer sure knows how to stick with what works. The same little black dress, the same down and tussled hair. God knows how much botox she's had, but she's hot.

Glenn Close is apparently 60 and is so ripped she could kick my ass.

As usual, Helen Mirren rules the school. Her hair was a bit casual but her purple dress and clear plastic stripper shoes are awesome.

But my favorite mature woman has to be Sally Field. I know I have a soft spot for her but damn, I really respect that she hasn't gone under the knife, hasn't botoxed herself, and dresses like she should.

RED IS IN APPARENTLY

Red was all over the red carpet which is great because everyone looks good in red. The problem was that a lot of the red dresses looked the same - red unforgiving satin.

Ali Larter is tall, skinny, blonde, and young so she can pretty much where anything including just a drape of red satin. And it looks pretty great.

Ginnifer Goodwin from "Big Love" mixed up the cut a little bit and she looks pretty cute.

Mary Louise Parker is a striking woman and I like her in this dress but I wish she would stop being weird and start smiling. Also, FYI, she adopted a baby from Africa over the weekend. Who knew?

My favorite red satin dress is probably this PREGNANT woman from "entourage". Funny.

A big disappoint for me though was Kate Walsh. She is beautiful but I am not digging this dress on her. The red is nice of course but everything is too droopy...the fabric and her boobs. I would like everything to be lifted. And the make-up is too extreme I think. More on the hair later.

WHEN BAD CLOTHES HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE

Jenna Fischer again picks a terrible terrible dress to wear. What's with this girl? She's funny, she seems nice and down to earth, yet she keeps picking dresses that look like bed linens with huge bows. Poor girl.

Now who doesn't love them some good Minnie Driver? I usually do but I was not into this color. No, no, no. And even the cut of the dress is unflattering. Show off that surfer bod Minnie!

I usually give it up for my larger lady love Sara Ramirez but I couldn't get behind this one. I don't get all the layers and the cut, don't like the peek-a-boo hole, and I'm not in love with the hair. Bummer.

And speaking of... I've seen America Ferrara look gorgeous and lovely in some very flattering kick-ass dresses. This is not one of those times.

Felicity Huffman needs to start eating.

MOST IMPROVED

These ladies surprised me because I usually don't like they're wearing.

Debra Messing for instance usually looks like crap but I liked this.

And, granted, Kathy Griffin is no supermodel but she's really trying here.

Sandra Oh has made some weird choices but I thought this looked nice.

You may disagree with me, but I don't hate Teri Hatcher here.

BAD, BAD, WORST

Hated Vanessa Williams' feather dress.

Tina Fey should never try to dress up.

Hey, Rebecca Romijn, you're supposed to be a model. This is unflattering and unattractive and your hair and make-up is scaring me.

Patricia Heaton's dress looks like puke green.

Kyra Sedgwick has a horrible trumpeted and fringe thing going on here. No good.

Paula Abdul. Yup.

This yellow piece of fabric on Lara Spencer from "The Insider" is one of the most heinous excuses for a dress I've ever seen.

Hayden Panettiere lost my vote twice...once for this awards dress which overwhelms her tiny body and once for this after party dress which appears to have feathers glued on.

Kate Walsh disappointed me with her dress but her bigger crime was the hair. What in the f*&% is going on here? Is that a hairstyle I didn't know about? Hairspraying one piece of hair to hell on the side of your face? And she may be hitting the botox which also makes me sad. Dammit. Used to be one of my favorite people on TV...

I didn't love Ellen Pompeo's dress but even if I had, her hair would have scared me enough to make me take it back. Mother of God, how did she do that too herself?

YAY!

Yay for Kristin Bell from one of my favorite shows "Veronica Mars".

Yay for Katherine Heigl even though she overacts.

Yay for Marcia Cross for looking fab a few months after having twins. (The jury's still out on the earrings though.)

Yay for Eva Longoria. She may be annoying and over-exposed, but she usually looks damn good.

Now, this is a risky Yay, but I'm giving it to Becki Newton from "Ugly Betty". Yes, the dress is weird, but I like her hair and I think she looks lovely.

My biggest, loudest YAY definitely goes to Rashida Jones from "The Office". Maybe a weird choice but I liked the color, like the twisted braided straps, and just thought it was a flattering choice for her.

emmys 2007 - the awards

I know some of you (okay, 2 people) are waiting for an Emmy post. I have a lot to say but work is kicking my ass so I might not be able to get to it until tonight...

Wait for it...

Okay, a blurb about the awards. I'm sure I say this every year (though I'm too lazy to check archived posts) but this was probably the worst year for the emmys ever. Between the travesty of the nominations (see previous post), the ridiculous theater in the round, the awkwardness of Seacrest, and the all around terrible winners, it was a low point. I mean, who in the HELL picks these winners? They get the nominees wrong and then they can't even pick the best out of those people? With the exception of one category, I disagreed wholeheartedly.

Best Drama - The Sopranos. The only award I agreed with. Eight years, ten years, or however many years of just amazing television and all they got was this award and some ridiculous "tribute" to them with Jersey Boys singing old pop hits from Frankie Valli while the video montage showed murders, attempted suicides and beatings. What the f*&^!

Best Comedy - 30 Rock. I don't watch this, I know it's funny, blah, blah, blah. I was bummed "The Office" didn't win.

Best Actor Comedy - Ricky Gervais over Steve Carrell and Alec Baldwin. I don't know if I mentioned it but I hate his show "Extras" and I'm beginning to think he's a cocky blowhard. Lame.

Best Actress Comedy - America Ferrera. Fine. She seems like a nice girl. But I really do think the voters are always swayed when there is an hour long show in this category. It just gives them an edge.

Best Supp. Actor Comedy - Jeremy Piven AGAIN over Rainn Wilson. Piven at this point thinks he's god so I'm sure this didn't do anyone any favors. Poor Rainn Wilson. So funny...even when he's put in a ridiculous Kanye West skit.

Best Supp. Actress Comedy - Jaime Pressley over Jenna Fischer and Elizabeth Perkins. I know Pressley is funny on "Earl" but Jenna Fischer was so good this year with her confession at the beach day and...well...dammit people! She broke her back this summer from trying to walk in high heels! Give her an award.

Best Actress Drama - Sally Field over Edie Falco. Now, you know I love the "Brothers and Sisters". And you know I love Sally Field ever since I interned for her back when I was a wee lass. But Edie Falco. Man, she blew me away every single season on "Sopranos" and it was just a slap in the face not to give it to her for her last year.

Best Actor Drama - James Spader over Gandolfini, Denis Leary, and Hugh Laurie. Speaking of slaps in the face, this was more like a ninja kick to the groin. Bad enough that Gandolfini lost. Just impossible to fathom. But then to give it to James f*&%ing Spader. At least he had the decency to be embarrassed. I quite enjoyed that he said the theater in the round was stupid and he had no idea who in the hell voted for these things. I agree James.

Best Supp. Actor Drama - Terry O'Quinn over Michael Imperioli and Michael Emerson. Again, what a weird choice! Michael Imperioli doesn't get the nostaglia vote but then they give it to O'Quinn over Emerson who really was electrifying on "Lost" this season.

And now what I believe to be the worst choice of the evening...

Best Supp. Actress Drama - Katherine Heigl over Rachel Griffiths, Sandra Oh, Chandra Wilson, Aida Turturro, and Lorraine Bracco. Before they announced the winner I thought, well Heigl is the worst of all of them. And guess who they chose? She almost single-handedly ruined "Grey's" for me this past season with her whining, her overacting, and her pouting. And lately in interviews she's just been rubbing me the wrong way. I don't know if it's the "Knocked Up" success or the whole vindication for the TR Knight thing. But goddamn!!

The Academy makes my blood boil

Right now I'm sitting at my desk, pissed off once again that the Academy of Television could get the Emmy nominations sooooo wrong. It's as if they are watching television in 2001 and can't move past that date. This year was like every other year in that they completely sucked when it came to judging talent and innovation. The full list of nominees are here but let me highlight some travesties...

Best Actor in a Comedy includes Ricky Gervais for "Extras" which, if I remember correctly, had about 6 20-minute episodes in the season and he didn't make me laugh once. Then there's the obligatory nomination for Tony Shaloub for "Monk" (is that show STILL on?) and, god forbid we forget, the great comic stylings of Charlie Sheen.

Best Actor in a Drama really pisses me off because they completely ignored shows like "The Wire", "Deadwood", Chiklis on "The Shield", and Izzard on "The Riches" in favor of James Spader on "Boston Legal" (goddamnit!!) and Kiefer Sutherland on "24" (when will people realize he's just shouting!!!!). I won't get into the Hugh Laurie "House" nomination because I know my audience, but I have to say that he is not as good as some of the actors omitted. The only bright spot here was that Denis Leary as nominated for "Rescue Me" though I think Gandolfini should win for his last season of "The Sopranos".

Best Actress in a Comedy is so pathetic that I can't even comment. The real problem is that there's not much to choose from.

Best Actress in a Drama got it a little bit right, only because they included Sally Field from "Brothers and Sisters" and Minnie Driver from "The Riches". But the yearly nominating of Patricia Arquette, Kyra Sedgwick, and Mariska Hargitay has to stop. Stop the madness people!!

Best Supporting Actor in a Comedy is a joke though I'm happy Rainn Wilson got nominated from "The Office". Hope he wins.

Best Supporting Actor in a Drama is a real travesty. They have a chance to really single out some of the great unknowns that turned in amazing performances and who do they recognize? William Shatner (yeah, he's in his prime) and TR Knight from "Grey's" which I feel bad saying may have been a sympathy vote. None of the excellent male actors from "Brothers and Sisters", nobody from "The Shield" which had an outstanding season... Argh!! I'm rooting for Michael Emerson on "Lost" because he was the bright spot in last year's season.

Best Supporting Actress in a Comedy may be the biggest joke category of all time. I am thrilled Pam was nominated from "the Office" but Vanessa Williams? Holland Taylor and Conchata Ferrell from "Two and a Half Men"? Yowzah.

Best Supporting Actress in a Drama is interesting because they got it right with Rachel Griffiths and I guess I support the nominating of THREE "Grey's" people though Sandra Oh is the only one that deserves it. But the two "Sopranos" nominations are kind of a stretch since Aida Turturro was only in about two of the episodes and Lorraine Bracco barely had five lines all season.

Best Drama Series...here's where it all gets summed up. "Boston Legal" gets nominated and "The Wire" does not. "Heroes" (while some of you may think it's entertaining, it's certainly not good) gets nominated and "The Shield" does not. "House" (while also entertaining is only a procedural medical drama) gets nominated while "The Riches" and "Rescue Me" does not. "Grey's Anatomy" gets nominated (for a season which, all in all, SUCKED) and "Brothers and Sisters" does not.

I can't even begin to talk about how Debra Messing's piece of garbage mini-series called "The Starter Wife" got nominated for about 9 things including her acting. I guess what I'm saying is, we need a separate underground awards shows which bans the likes of "Boston Legal", "Two and a Half Men", "Medium", "The Closer" and "Monk" so we can give out some meaningful awards based on quality.

And, yes, I will still watch the show. There's fashion to be had people!!

oscars 2007

Well, another year and another Oscars telecast. As usual, the Oscars were far more boring than The Golden Globes, the SAG Awards, the Emmys...hell, even the Independent Spirit Awards which were on this weekend. I was pretty bummed because it was a lackluster telecast for two reasons. 1) The fashion was TERRIBLE. No one looked good. and 2) the host was not good. Not Good. I'm looking at you Ellen Degeneres.

Ellen wasn't funny and I just didn't think her quirky stuff worked. I missed having a big opening song and dance number (a la Billy Crystal), an amazingly hysterical pre-taped bit (a la Jon Stewart), or just plain damn funny monalogue (a la Steve Martin). She just did a stand up routine that wasn't funny at all. And I actually like Ellen so I gave her a fair shot. But, umm, no. Please don't invite her back.

Then there was the red carpet. Oh me, oh my. Almost every single person blew it. These people have perfect bodies and all the resources in the world for hair, make-up, and clothing, and they can't get it right. Amazing. Let's break it down.

Before I tear down the ladies, I must give props to the men. There were some hot men in attendance this year and I didn't mind looking at them.

THE MEN

Ryan Gosling is the love of my life and if you saw him accept his award at the Independent Spirit Awards you would understand why.

I find Clive Owen scrumptious and it's not just because of his accent.

I certainly can't explain it, but I think Robert Downey Jr has been looking okay lately. I think maturity (and sobriety) becomes him.

James McAvoy certainly doesn't look amazing but I do love him.

Daniel Craig...yummy.

And I love this two from Mexico - Diego Luna and Gael Garcia Bernal. It's probably just because Diego was in Dirty Dancing 2.

But the standout male of the evening was probably Mark Wahlberg. Now, I'd like to note that out of everyone, I think Wahlberg's wife/girlfriend looked the best of all the females. Sure, she's a former model, but I thought her dress was awesome. So it's all downhill from here.

THE ORANGE

As usual people went overboard with the fake tan. This resulted in a very orange glow.

Leo was a prime suspect because he's never looked so orange (or so bloated). Sorry Leo.

I usually love Isla Fisher but I just could not get into this look. Besides looking orange, the bust was too low, and the satin didn't do her any favors. Bummer.

THE UGLY...and these people deserve it

Beyonce, Beyonce, Beyonce. This girl can not dress herself. Her dress had these huge stones/rocks on the top and it just looked ridiculous. Sadly, when she changed to perform on stage, I really enjoyed her dress but that doesn't make up for the 80s rocks.

Eddie Murphy is a tool and his "date" looked straight out of the 80s. The comment was made that Eddie would probably snort coke off of her dress mirrors later in the evening.

This girl is somewhat of a troll. Okay, that may be a little too harsh for Kirsten Dunst, but she really can not dress. I give her props for actually washing her hair and putting on makeup (a step up from most of her looks), but this dress is terrible.

Jada Pinkett Smith is always so predictable. You watch. She always wears a strapless straight dress that is a little tight and that makes her look man-ish. And she always, ALWAYS, chooses a crazy color.

I was not feeling Gwyneth Paltrow last night. She's let her hair grow WAY out and insists on wearing it to one side all the time. The color was slightly daring but I didn't like the cut. No go for me.

Then there was Jennifer Hudson. This was her night. She looked great at the Globes so I had high hopes. I mean, she's been planning this outfit for months. Then she comes out in this. There are so many things wrong with this ensemble. The gold bolero jacket is TERRIBLE. Her clenched fists in the pockets are terrible. And the side ponytail is terrible. Bad bad bad. With the jacket off as she accepted the award, she looked better. The color worked. But then imagine my surprise when I saw her in this backstage immediately after she won the award. What the hell? When did she have time to change? How much of a diva is she? And why change into an ugly gold dress that doesn't flatter your curves? I just don't understand.

Speaking of not understanding, can someone tell me what happened to Rose McGowan's face?

But the worst dressed of the night had to be Bond Girl Eva Green. I don't even know what to say. I don't know what's going on here. I mean, take a look at this closeup. Terrible make-up, terrible hair, and she appears to have wrapped tulle around some lace or stone detail. The topper is that she appears to be trying to look "sexy" or "dangerous" and failing miserably.

THE BAD...sadly, on good people

This is a long long category. That's because 90% of everyone I like chose to dress like crap. How hard is it to look in the mirror?

Let's start with Anne Hathaway. Sure, she does have somewhat of a spotty fashion record, but I had high hopes. Unfortunately, those hopes were beaten to death by a giant black bow. Ugh.

Her partner in crime Emily Blunt looked better but not great. I don't understand the sparkly fabric fad. The third Dreamgirl sported the same fabric and I didn't like it on her either.

For some reason, I tend to like Jessica Biel. She's sporty and seems fairly normal. But this dress didn't do her any favors. I suppose I admire the color risk. But not really. But the natural waist belt that has to go up to clear her rear end is not good. And her nipples are all over the place. Plus it looks like she got her hair permed and then pulled it back. I'm just not impressed.

Cate Blanchett is a pretty fashion forward gal. She takes risks and sometime she looks good and sometimes not. But I thought this was a) not risky and b) looked like crap. The color is so depressing which is sad because Cate looks great in color (remember the purple gown? or the yellow?). And the heavy metal fabric of the gown weighed her down. And don't even get me started on the one strap.

Elisabeth Shue - tragic.

Jennifer Lopez has been doing so well lately. She's looked hot and svelte and very put together. But here she drags out the bob hair that I hate and bedazzles the top of her gown. (And her undead husband doesn't help matters.)

Meryl, you crack me up.

Please, let's all say it together Rachel Weisz, satin flatters NO ONE'S body. Don't wear it. Besides, the dress is sort of lame and the necklace is too heavy.

I really like Penelope Cruz but the bodice was too much, the train was too much, and the hair was too severe. Not into it.

Amy Adams, you need some color honey.

I adore Natalie Portman but this didn't do anything for me.

Rashida Jones may be on one of my favorite shows The Office, but this dress is hideous. Just hideous. I hope Pam gets Jim. She clearly does not deserve him.

Victoria Beckham's starting to scare me.

The biggest disappoint of the night by far was my beloved Kate Winslet. Oh the tragedy. I love her so. This color washes her out, I hate the one strap, it's not that flattering, and her make-up and hair looks off. Maybe her brows are too dark? Sad, sad, sad.

THE MEDIOCRE
I can't even elevate them to good.

Maggie Gyllenhaal - I guess she just had a baby but that doesn't require a strap.

Celine Dion - Am I really saying this? God help me.

Jodie Foster - A little boring my friend.

Kelly Preston - Yes, I know she's wearing animal print but at least it woke me out of my coma and she looked good.

Cameron Diaz - It's a weird dress but the girl can wear white. And I loved her earrings.

Portia Di Rossi - She's too too thin but I did like the dress. She wears the same cut all the time so she knows what looks good on her.

Naomi Watts is bordering on bad because of the sleeve things but I'll give it up. She looks okay for being pregnant.

Madonna = I actually think Madonna pulled it together quite nicely here. Her hair and make-up looks good and i don't even hate all the bondage straps at the top of the dress. Well played.

THE GOOD?

Abigail Breslin wore the princess dress that I would have wanted to wear when I was 10. Awesome.

I hate to say it but I think Katie looks good. Her husband got a regular haircut so he doesn't look so crazy, and I like that color on her. Don't get me wrong, they are still freaks, but they look good.

Now, this is a controversial choice, but I liked Nicole's dress. I do realize it has a large bow on the shoulder. I can see that. But the girl is 10 feet tall and a stick and can wear anything. I think the color looks good on her and her hair and make-up look great.

The cute as a button award goes to Reese Witherspoon. This girl is just cute. I didn't always love her but she's growing on me. This purple color looks nice and she just looks fresh and not overdone. I didn't like the ruffles when the camera panned down, but I forgive them.

Honestly, the one who looked like a million bucks last night was Helen Mirren. I mean, really. This is how it's done people. Look at this closeup! Anyone would be lucky to look this hot at any age, let alone 60.

Now, I'm going to get a lot of grief for this, but I'll just say it. Oprah was wearing my favorite dress of the evening. Okay, granted, I'm an Oprah fan. But hear me out. This dress is kind of cool. It works on the curvy girl and it's something I would actually wear if I was brave enough to wear anything besides solid colors. It looks comfortable and fun and I'm into it. So there!

come on, come on. feel it, feel it.

Feel the vibrations. That's right. From San Franscisco to Boston you must have felt the vibrations this morning as the Best Supporting Actor nominations were read and Mark Wahlberg's name was read. This was a sweet sweet morning in my household. You see, about four or five years back my lovely husband and my equally lovely friend made a bet about Marky Mark. The hubby said he'd be nominated for an Oscar in the next 10 years and the friend took the other side. (There is debate whether it was a nomination or a win but the majority remembers it as a nomination). At the time it seemed far-fetched but not so much anymore. Sweet victory. I maintain that his nomination is no where near as laughable as Eddie Murphy. Murphy got nominated for a small role in which he did a James Brown impersonation. Big deal.

How did I like the other nominees? I am happy that "Little Miss Sunshine" got nominated for Best Picture. I haven't seen "Babel" but I have a hard time believing it's that good. The best actress category is insane in that 4 out of the 5 nominees are probably the best working actresses today - Meryl Streep, Kate Winslet, Helen Mirren, and Judi Dench. I was thrilled that Ryan Gosling got nominated because now he'll come with Rachel McAdams and I can have "Notebook" flashbacks. Will Smith proves once again that a smile and a winning personality can take you a long way. I was shocked that "Children of Men" wasn't nominated for Art Direction because I think that is the best production design I've seen in years. One nominee that jumped off the page (and stabbed me in the eyes) was Best Make-up for "Click". Sure, I didn't see it, but that fact that that movie can now say "Oscar nominated" makes me want to vomit a little.

As for the red carpet potential, I'm pretty excited. Two omissions that make the carpet a little less bright are Ben Affleck for "Hollywoodland" who would have brought the always cute Jennifer Garner, and Brad Pitt for "Babel" which would have meant that Angelina would have had to dig up another ugly dress from St. John and put up with the ridiculous mortals trying to interview her.

For the full list of nominees, you can click here.

GGs 2007

longest post ever? sorry for the delay!

Wow. I can't remember an awards show where I gathered soo many pictures of stars and dresses. Everyone was at the Beverly Hilton last night for this shindig and it was a fairly entertaining show. I hope Taryn was watching because this show was built for her. Hugh Laurie AND Jeremy Irons win! Other British people win! What a night. I was sad that "The Office" didn't win but I knew "Ugly Betty" would win because they love those newbies. But the fact that "Dreamgirls" beat "Little Miss Sunshine" is a bit ludicrous. And during the supporting actor category (which was quite stacked), I turned to Stacey and said, please, anyone BUT Eddie Murphy. No one heard my pleas because apparently he won an award for doing a James Brown impression. Good for him. But on to the dresses...

As I was watching the red carpet on tv last night, I thought two things. One, "Awesome! People are actually trying new things!" And two, "Wow, why does everyone look pregnant and fat." Then this morning I get up and look at all of the photos and most of the people don't look fat. So I don't know what to tell you. Apparently the camera really does add 10 pounds.

So here's what I've got. Sorry it's so long....

Bad, bad, bad

Julia Louis-Dreyfus just looks bad. The color looks gold in this picture but on tv it was sort of a puke green-gold which may explain the look on her face.

I don't dislike these two and I'm glad they enjoy being sisters, but the Arquette girls never look good. The picture actually doesn't do justice to this tragedy but a full lace casing is never a good idea.

I think that Gillian Anderson had a baby recently but I still am not enjoying her mother of the bride outfit. Just too old and too boring.

Nicolette Sheridan always dresses a little off. I'm not into this dress. It reminds me of the old Barbie dresses that my mom had when she was a kid. Not into it.

Sure, I can't remember what she was wearing, but Mary Louise Parker's devil eyes are burning a hole in my skull.

I'm sure Kyra Sedgwick is a lovely person. She seems really nice. But I am tired of some TNT show winning over people I actually like. This monstronsity of a dress also doesn't look that bad but, trust me, straight on I felt like the top part was a 24-Hour Playtex bra that a 50 year old would wear. And, sadly, she had so much botox in her face that it didn't even move during her acceptance speech.

Um, no Hilary Swank. Don't like that hair.

I never thought Tina Fey was all that attractive. And her facial expression in this picture doesn't do her any favors. But damn that dress was lame. The top embroidery was ugly and the short poufy skirt was too young for her. She looked silly.

Ellen Pompeo. Better than purple velvet..but still, No.

It's my opinion that Courtney Cox was the prettiest "Friend". But this dress doesn't do her any favors.

Vanessa Williams is a joke. Her hair is heinous (and the color didn't even match her real hair in the front) and why is she wearing fur! Please just act your age and go away.

Oh, poor poor Jennifer Love Hewitt. I like her. She seems adorable. Every crew member I know who has worked for her says that she is really nice. But this dress....yikes! As SJ said, it looks like a terrible bridesmaids dress from Sophisticated Lady at the local mall. Not a good choice. And on tv it made her look as wide as a truck in the hips. Which is know is not true! She looks good from the shoulders up but that was just a bad choice.

And, last but not least, Beyonce. Oh, Beyonce, I almost feel bad for you. Jennifer Hudson AND Eddie Murphy won and neither of them thanked you in their speeches. But then you show up looking like a video ho and I can't feel sorry for you. You want to win an Oscar and you're dressing like this? Not going to get it done girlfriend. Sorry.

When bad dresses happen to "good" people (because we know no actresses are truly "good")

Jenna Fisher is adorable on "The Office". But everytime I see her I wish I could give her some Spanx and a push-up bra.

Annette Bening is something of an enigma to me. She's a great actress but in interviews she's extremely cold and somehow she's married to that senile Warren Beatty. But this dress is weird. ANOTHER person in white but I didn't understand the rectangles at the top. Weird.

This is a tough one because I thought Jennifer Garner looked cute close up (13 Going on 30!), but then when I saw her dress, I was bummed. The lines are weird and it was an extremely heavy beaded dress. Wasn't a huge fan. But damn she's buff.

Jessica Biel works out all the time. Seriously. Every time I see her she is exercising. And she has a rad body. But I wasn't a fan of this heavy beaded dress that changed color around her ass. Um, no. Her hair and earrings were pretty though.

From this picture, I don't know how I can include Selma Hayek in the bad, but really, this looked terrible on tv. The draping around her stomach made her come off as pregnant and her hair looked incredibly flat. Of course, I look at this picture and all I see is a gorgeous woman with huge bazongas so what do I know.

Cate Blanchett is awesome. She sometimes looks amazing and sometimes, like now looks terrible. But at least she's shaking it up. I have higher hopes for the Oscars.

I love my Katherine Heigl but I don't like her in black. I didn't like the dress and the headshot also leaves me cold. She did her hair just like that at the Emmy's and I think I would prefer it down and softer. That's just me.

Cameron, I'm trying to like you even with your tall gorgeous body and legs, but this is making it very difficult.

I think Kate Walsh is stunning on "Grey's Anatomy". But I hated her look last night. I didn't like the hair, I didn't like how it made her boobs look squished and tiny, and I didn't like how it made her look pregnant. Not into it.

But no one made me more sad than Kate Winslet. I adore her. But I just thought this dress was so blah and did nothing for her. She's pale so I think she looks good in colors (aka not white) and I thought it made her boobs look bad and her stomach. Boo! Again, I can only hope for more at the Oscars.

Bravo!

I love this woman. Meryl Streep may be over 50 but this lady knows how to look good while dressing her age. Her speech was the highlight of the night, for me, and I just hope I get to see more of her this awards season.

Ali Larter is on a show I don't like ("Heroes") and I don't think she's a great actress, but this was my favorite white dress of the night. This head-on picture makes the plunge seem a little extreme but it really was a gorgeous dress.

I have mixed feelings towards Jennifer Lopez but I thought she looked good. She's a beautiful woman and lately she's been looking pretty damn awesome. (New trainer? new tan applicator man?) Maybe not everyone likes this look but I do.

Kinda of a big dress but Penelope Cruz is so pretty that the face and hair overcomes all.

It's not easy for the big girls, but I thought Jennifer Hudson looked great and better than Beyonce. And Sara Ramirez, even with her hair in that 50s wave, still looked good in red.

Emily Blunt was on Craig Ferguson a few nights ago and looked stunning. So I had high hopes for her at the GGs. She didn't look as good but she sure fit in this dress quite perfectly.

Bravo to Felicity Huffman for looking as good as she's ever looked. I love this color on her and her hair looked great. I'm not sure what she's doing with her hand but, cut her some slack. She doesn't pose for a living because she's busy raising kids and using her brain.

I haven't seen that many Sienna Miller movies...In fact, I've only seen one. And all of my ideas of her come from an affair with a douchebag actor who seems to like to sleep around. But, when it comes down to it, Sienna is cute. Sure, this dress is a little weird but she looked great. And I know you're going to say that you don't like the hair but I do! She had barely any make-up on and cute earrings and seems excited and I loved it.

Take note all you aging starlets (I'm looking at you Sharon Stone), Helen Mirren knows how to dress and she looks hot.

Have I mentioned that I adore Drew Barrymore? Maybe Drew's dress wasn't the flashiest, but she looked so soft and pretty. She's absolutely adorable and reminds me of cotton candy and pink wet n' wild lipstick. (Which is good.)

But my favorite of the night, and this shocks me, was probably Reese Witherspoon. I first saw her from the shoulders up and thought she looked really bright and shiny and happy. The single life is clearly agreeing with her. They then panned down to the dress. At first I was horrified by the yellow. But then it grew on me. Then I saw more and more pictures and suddenly I think she's rad. That's how it happens people.

And the rest...

Most uncomfortable on the red carpet...Chloe from "24".

Most metallic...Sandra Oh.

Longest fake ponytail...Hayden Panatierre.

Cutest girl, best body, in a weird dress...Evangeline Lilly.

Outfit that looked most awesome on tv and least awesome on-line...Eva Longoria.

Skinniest housewife I know...Teri Hatcher.

Squintiest face - Lifetime Achievement...Renee Zellweger.

Biggest reason why I'm excited to get older...the women of "Big Love". Jeanne Tripplehorn looks the happiest and best of them all!

And because they need a category all to their own...Brangelina. I had read that she was forced to wear a St. John's dress because she does their ads and that she didn't like their dresses. Probably because this was the best one they had. Which isn't very good. But combined with the gold jewelry and severe bun, Angelina scared me. To my core. Her semi-interview with Ryan Seacrest was absolutely painful and I just don't know what to make of this woman. How hard it must be to walk among the mortals. I am not fit to look at her and she knows it.

Golden Globes! Wow. Interesting fashion night because people finally ditched the plain black dress. Fishtails and white were in...as was looking 20 pounds heavier. Lots to say. But it takes a little time to comb through it all...especially when I have a job. So stay tuned.

well played

I've said a few bad things about Ellen Pompeo in my day. She's my least favorite character on "Grey's Anatomy" and most of the time she looks anorexic, yellow, and unhealthy. I still saddened by her last award show appearance in purple velvet and a slicked back ponytail. But I have to give props when props are due.

At the People's Choice Awards she looked completely healthy with glowing skin and good hair. Sure, heavy on the eye liner but much improved! Well played Ellen!

GG noms - Part 2, Television

a little different format this time...

Best Television Series - Drama

24 - Words can't express how ridiculous I think this show has gotten. Kiefer screaming does not make a good drama!

BIG LOVE - This show really grew on me as the season progressed. I really liked it in the end.

GREY'S ANATOMY - Obviously I love this show but I don't think it's the BEST drama on television so leave me alone fatso.

HEROES - My feelings on this show have been duly noted.

LOST - Unlike some people, I actually really liked the 8 episodes this fall. I thought they were a major improvement over last season.

Best Actress in a Television Series - Drama

PATRICIA ARQUETTE, MEDIUM - She seems nice enough and she's always a train wreck on the red carpet so there's that to look forward to.

EDIE FALCO, THE SOPRANOS - Oh, how quality she is.

EVANGELINE LILLY, LOST - A newcomer! The GGs love new blood (ie Keri Russell) so she just might win.

ELLEN POMPEO, GREY'S ANATOMY - Hmm...I don't know. I just hope she's not wearing velvet.

KYRA SEDGWICK, THE CLOSER - Boring.

Best Actor in a Television Series - Drama

PATRICK DEMPSEY, GREY'S ANATOMY - I love my McDreamy as much as the next 30 million people, but I don't think he's in any position to be nominated for acting.

MICHAEL C. HALL, DEXTER - He plays a serial killer, right? I don't get Showtime.

HUGH LAURIE, HOUSE - I give it up for him because of Taryn and "Sense and Sensibility".

BILL PAXTON, BIG LOVE - This show is all about the women so I don't know if I want him to win.

KIEFER SUTHERLAND, 24 - Anyone but him. Please. I beg of you.


Best Television Series - Comedy

DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES - Um, not really that funny.

ENTOURAGE - DEFINITELY not that funny.

UGLY BETTY - This show is okay but I also don't think it's a total comedy.

WEEDS - I actual think I might like this show but, as I said, I don't have Showtime so I will never know it's brilliance. Sorry Mary Louise Parker. We'll always have "Fried Green Tomatoes".

THE OFFICE - If this doesn't win the commie bastards in the Hollywood Foreign Press need to be chased out of town.

Best Actress in a Television Series - Comedy

MARCIA CROSS, DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES - Remember "Melrose Place"? She was good on that and got to hone her comedy chops.

AMERICA FERRERA, UGLY BETTY - She'll totally win because she uglied herself up. People love that shit.

FELICITY HUFFMAN, DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES - Whoa, whoa, whoa...an actual actress? Sweet. She'll win, right? Right?

JULIA LOUIS-DREYFUS, THE NEW ADVENTURES OF OLD CHRISTINE - Was this show cancelled?

MARY-LOUISE PARKER, WEEDS - Award shows sure like Showtime (see "Huff") so maybe she'll win.

Best Actor in a Television Series - Comedy

ALEC BALDWIN, 30 ROCK - Never seen it but he is DAMN funny.

ZACH BRAFF, SCRUBS - Zach, your time in the sun is up. Sorry.

STEVE CARRELL, THE OFFICE - Did I mention that this show is rad and that Carrell should win or we should run all of the bastards out of town?

JASON LEE, MY NAME IS EARL - As he's the straight man in this show, I don't think he's that funny.

TONY SHALHOUB, MONK - If this goddamn guy wins again for the 100th time, I will revolt.

Best Supporting Actress in a TV Series, Mini Series or TV Movie

The GG's could not do this any worse...They combine Supporting Actress for comedy, drama and TV movies. Ridiculous.


EMILY BLUNT, GIDEON'S DAUGHTER - I liked her in "Devil Wears Prada".

TONI COLLETTE, TSUNAMI, THE AFTERMATH - I liked her in "Little Miss Sunshine".

KATHERINE HEIGL, GREY'S ANATOMY - Heigl instead of Sandra Oh? Must have been that Denny dying scene.

SARAH PAULSON, STUDIO 60 ON THE SUNSET STRIP - She's actually pretty good and I suppose this might make Aaron Sorkin feel better about his lack of nominations.

ELIZABETH PERKINS, WEEDS - In the scenes I've seen, funny as hell.

Best Supporting Actor in a TV Series, Mini Series or TV Movie

THOMAS HADEN, CHURCH BROKEN TRAIL - What?

JEREMY IRONS, ELIZABETH I - T, calm down. I know it's exciting but it'll be okay.

JUSTIN KIRK, WEEDS - Next.

MASI OKA, HEROES - Like I said, beware of newbies.

JEREMY PIVEN, ENTOURAGE - Quality performance...non-quality guy.

GG Noms - Part 1, Films

That's Golden Globe nominations to you. I was going to let the nominations go by without a post because I haven't seen many of the movies yet, but hell, I can talk about things I haven't seen. Hasn't stopped me in the past. I hope to see most of the movies over the holidays so I'll be able to more accurately vent after the new year.

Best Motion Picture - Drama
While I haven't seen "Babel" or "Little Children", I can say that "Bobby" just wasn't that quality and "The Queen" was boring as hell. I mean, Boring with a capital B. That leaves "The Departed" which I enjoyed so that's my vote. Though I think "Last King of Scotland" should have been nominated.

Best Motion Picture - Musical or Comedy
I haven't seen "Borat" (I know, I know) and I haven't seen "Dreamgirls". I hear it's good but I can't imagine since I think Beyonce is one of the worst actresses I've ever seen in dailies. Meryl Streep was amazing in "The Devil Wears Prada" but the movie was not fantastic. "Thank You For Smoking" was really good and I'm glad people remember it. But "Little Miss Sunshine" was so awesome that I will be really upset if this doesn't win.

Best Actor - Drama
Two Leo nominations is just plain awesome though he was really good in "The Departed". Peter O'Toole in "Venus"? Never heard of it. Will Smith is a great guy but his movie looks too sappy. That leaves Forest Whitaker who is FANTASTIC in "Last King of Scotland".

Best Actress - Drama
Penelope Cruz, haven't seen "Volver", Maggie Gyllenhaal, haven't seen "Sherrybaby", and Kate Winslet, haven't seen "Little Children". Helen Mirren will win but Judi Dench should because she is the best she's been in "Notes on a Scandal". (And that movie is short which is a rariety nowadays and I feel like that should be rewarded.)

Best Actor - Musical or Comedy
Borat will win which seems boring to me. I'd like to see Johnny Depp win because he's Johnny Depp and Aaron Eckhardt was good as well in "Thank You For Smoking". Will Ferrell was nominated but guess what people!? "Stranger than Fiction" isn't really a comedy. Just because it stars Will Ferrell doesn't make it a comedy. Oh well.

Best Actress - Musical or Comedy
The fact that Beyonce was nominated proves how ridiculous the Globes are. But I appreciate the ridiculousness because it makes for better red carpet fashion. Toni Collette is good as usual in "Little Miss Sunshine". Annette Bening and Renee Zellweger are also nominated but Meryl Streep blows everyone away in "Prada".

Best Supporting Actor
This is it baby. The year Marky Mark fully evolves into Mark Wahlberg. Love it. Ben Affleck also is nominated for his acting prowess which I never would have guessed. Eddie Murphy (another non-actor) is also nominated. Pretty thin year. Mr. Pitt is nominated which means Angelina will be there so I support that. And Jack Nicholson always makes the show more lively.

Best Supporting Actress
Jennifer Hudson will win for "Dreamgirls" which I don't approve of since she couldn't even make it to the finals of American Idol. Cate Blanchett should win for "Notes on a Scandal" and I'm happy for Emily Blunt for her "Prada" nomination. Two other "Babel" actresses are also nominated but I don't know who they are so who cares about them. If they wear a dress I approve of THEN I will learn their name.

Best Direction
Clint Eastwood is nominated twice. Twice! I know he is great and I know he is close to death (stop it, it's true), but there's no need to nominate him twice. Haven't seen either movie and don't want to. Stephen Frears for "The Queen", which, as noted, is a sucky movie. "Babel"'s director is nominated but I haven't seen it so I'm going to have to go with good 'ol Scorcese. Maybe this is actually his year.


Stay tuned for the TV nominations...

the best and worst emmy's

and i don't mean the best and the worst of the emmys. i mean this was the best emmy show i've ever watched and the worst. conan o'brien was an amazing host and the bits he did were the funniest i've seen on an awards show in a long time. i won't try to explain them because i'm sure i couldn't do them justice. but, if you saw it, you know what i mean. but, the winners! totally the worst choices i've seen in years and years. it's like the academy is totally out of touch with reality. i realize that it's just my opinion....i just think my opinion is correct. is tony shaloub really funnier than steve carrell? so much funnier that he has to win THREE YEARS IN A ROW?! um, no. kiefer sutherland? so his yelling into a cell phone is betting acting than denis leary? not to mention that you're saying he's better than the folks NOT nominated from 'the sopranos', 'deadwood', 'big love', and 'the wire'? yeah, i don't think so. and '24' beats all of the dramas?!! the only award i was happy about was when 'the office' won. still...

as usual, in the absence of excellent winners, the only thing left to talk about is fashion. so let's get right down to it.

the 'experts' tell me that purple was very in as well as lace and asymetrical straps. so that's what everyone was wearing. of course. how daring. let's start with the good...

THE GOOD

evangeline lilly from 'lost'. as indifferent as i am to her, she looked really good last night. of course, when you're beautiful and petite and athletic, i'm sure it's easy to look good...but it was a very nice dress.

lisa edelstein from 'house'. this is a shout-out to taryn because i know she loves that show. but i thought lisa looked very lovely. i like the simple dress and the detail at the waist is nice. good use of the trendy lace without having to look like a doily from head to toe.

jaime pressley from 'my name is earl'. truth is, i have a soft spot for this woman. maybe it's because she's so funny on the show and maybe it's because she's from white trash and is clearly loving being in hollywood, but i liked her in this dress.

kate walsh from 'grey's anatomy'. okay, i love her. i always think she is absolutely gorgeous on the show and while this dress isn't my taste, i think she rocks it.

and, finally, virginia madsen. madsen isn't young or tiny so i've gotta give it up to a voluptuous woman who looks so good. sure, it's all lace but i really think it's flattering and beautiful. and, sure, from the side angle i was worried her boob was going to pop out, but she pulled it off.

THE UGLY

for a supermodel, tyra banks sure is wearing an ugly dress. i HATE asymetrical straps and this one has an ugly hard bow on it. and the lines are the dress are bad. and i hate mermaid dresses because they accentuate huge thighs and asses. and her wig is frightening.

i'm not a fan of debra messing anyways, but this dress is seriously unflattering.

paula abdul. what a delight this woman is. she always looks terrible and i am constantly amazed at the things she chooses to wear. i think i had this dress back in 1991 when i went to her concert. it still doesn't look good.

jeremy piven is a tool.

i am not a fan of kim raver from '24'. and no matter how many people tell me yellow is in, i don't believe it.

white pillowcases make eva longoria look bad. and i don't mind.

but the WORST, had to be ellen pompeo from 'grey's anatomy'. everything about it is terrible. her weird slicked back hair, her crushed velvet in 100 degree heat...it's just terrible. the only good thing i can say is that she looked much healthier than the last red carpet she was on. i couldn't quite see her rib cage and collarbone so that was a plus.

WHEN BAD CLOTHES HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE

sandra oh is pretty rad. i love her. but i just don't think i like this dress. maybe it's the ruffles or maybe it's all the crazy jewelry, but i'm disappointed.

don't put a waistband that low tina fey. just don't.

cheryl hines...you're funny and i like you but don't bedazzle your formal emmy dress.

elizabeth perkins has been rad for years. but i don't understand this dress. the color would have been good on her but the large lace pattern doesn't do her any favors. and i HATE the rope around her boobs. yuck.

the saddest tragedy of the night for me was jenna fischer. i adore her on 'the office'. and she did this promo piece for E! where they went shopping with her. she tried on all of these cute dresses and THIS is what she came up with?! terrible. the color washed her out and she looked pregnant and the bow top made her boobs look weird. sad.
upon another glance at the photo, all i have to say is that she and jim are adorable. how could i say something bad about her? i'm wrong.

SPLIT DECISIONS

portia de rossi...i still don't know.

kyra sedgwick is a cool woman and overall she looked good. but the big flower thing perplexes me.

oh, my katherine heigl. how i love you in 'grey's anatomy'. and you seem like a normal girl who would be fun. and you look better than you usually do. but a tad too much mystic tan and too much copying charlize. you can get your own style and look awesome!

BEST DRESSED IN HER 40s

definitely julia louis-dreyfus. i thought she looked pretty damn good!

BEST DRESSED IN HER 50s

jane kaczmarek is a mom in her 50s but this color looks really nice on her and she looks well put together.

BEST DRESSED IN HER 60s

give it up for helen mirren. an amazing actress who looks classy and dresses her age.

PREGNANT AND BEAUTIFUL

damn these women. how do heidi klum and gillian anderson do it?

WHO INVITED THESE PEOPLE?

why is tracy gold there and why does she look horrible? and who invited vanessa minillo and maria menounos?

HAIR COMMERCIALS

patrick dempsey clearly got best male hair while i was totally envious of heidi klum's 'do.

SPECIAL MENTION

and a huge shout out for a hot bitch who knows how to work it...joan collins. man, i miss the 80s.

emmy nomination highlights (or lowlights as it were)

really? these are the nominations? i was actually looking forward to the emmy's because i think that television currently has more quality programming than films by a mile. there are such great things on tv now! so imagine my disappointment when i saw the terrible nominations this morning. just so you know, the nominees were chosen differently this year. the members got to send in ballots and then a "blue-ribbon panel of selected television individuals" chose the nominees from among the top 15 vote getters. yeah. so some jackass panel chose the nominees.

the few highlights
denis leary got nominated for 'rescue me' which is really one of the best shows on television. amazing. 'bleak house', the miniseries, got a lot of nominations which i was happy about because i enjoyed it. jaime pressley was nominated for 'my name is earl' which is good because she's the best part of that show by far. chandra wilson (sassy dr. bailey) on 'grey's anatomy' was nominated and that RULES. for some reason i'm really happy for craig ferguson and i am thrilled that kathy griffin's reality show got nominated because i think it's pretty damn funny.

and the many lowlights....
the rest of the nominations were just terrible. 'will and grace' is so so bad and yet it keeps getting nominated. and i know 'the west wing' is ending but is that really a reason to nominate everyone? the fact that 'rescue me', 'the shield', 'deadwood', or even 'lost' didn't get a best drama nod is pathetic and sad. i don't adore 'big love' but every one of those actresses deserved a nomination and all of them were shut out. alfre woodard on 'desperate housewives'? what a joke!!! i continue to be amazed by all of the '24' adoration when it's basically the same ol' recycled plot lines and kiefer sutherland yelling. is that a good show? it's just plain ridiculous that james gandolfini and edie falco are ignored while the depressing boring 'six feet under' actors are nominated. come on! william shatner!! sean hayes! megan mullaly! what is this!? 2001? my god.

you're really racist, ya know. no, seriously, you are. and you are and you are and you are...

so, here's the thing about "crash". sure, my hatred of the movie has developed and grown as the year has gone on because it has been receiving so much attention and so many awards. when i first walked out of the theater i just thought it wasn't that good. john's immediate hatred has been well documented but i just thought it was extremely over-rated. my main problem with it was the lack of subtlety. i've never seen a more ridiculously obvious movie that was trying so so hard to be controversial.

"In L.A., nobody touches you. We're always behind this metal and glass. I think we miss that touch so much, that we crash into each other, just so we can feel something."

see, it's a metaphor. MET-A-PHOR. because there is a literal car crash in the movie (several in fact, why stop at one?) but it's also indicative of different races and cultures crashing into each other. get it?

i absolutely died laughing during 'crash's' best song number because the production was just as heavy handed as the film itself.

complete with a burning car and representations of all of the characters on stage, it was extremely moving. moving, that is, if you are an old white man with a lot of guilt. i suppose anyway. the real gem, and i'm sorry i couldn't find a picture of this, is when the guy dressed as a cop got behind a woman in a dress and reached through her legs and up her skirt, simulating a scene in the movie. just precious.

all that being said, i don't think 'crash' won best picture because the academy wasn't ready to give it to a gay movie. i just don't buy into that. in my tiny experience, i think that there is far more opportunity for homosexuals than minorities in this town. i've worked with many gay men and women but i unfortunately have to say that i've worked with very few black, asian, or latino men and women. basically none of the movies were stellar this year so it opened the door to a mediocre movie to come in and win. 'crash' won because the producers and lion's gate studio staged a HUGE marketing campaign in which they sent out more DVD screeners than any other film in history. it's an ensemble movie so when a large portion of the voters are actors, they love to vote for 'actor-y' films. besides, you know ludacris has a huge academy posse voting for him. and let's not underestimate the power of oprah who was hawking this movie for months.

to sum up my 'crash' lessons... thandie newton weighs 80 lbs and cannot act, in 2005 matt dillon was better in 'herbie: fully loaded', brendan fraser will forever be encino man, latino men with tattoos have cute kids, tony danza is totally underrated, and i better be more careful when i make racial slurs in public now.