memorial day with my pal nicole

I had a BBQ/housewarming over the weekend and it was great seeing all of my (maybe "our" though as John wasn't there, I'm going to say "my") friends enjoying our new backyard. I gotta say, I like our house. Very pleasant. I'm looking forward to many lazy days sitting by the pool. But the BBQ was nice and people seemed to have fun. There were lots of goodies to eat too, including aptly named "lard bars" and triple chocolate cake. I only mention this because someone got a hold of Nicole Richie's Memorial Day BBQ invitation and it's a gem. I somehow doubt there were delicious desserts though. Pity really.

From: Nicole Richie <> To: XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX Subject: Masha and Nicole's Memorial Day Party Date: Thu 24 Ma 2007 04:29:29 +0000

My fellow Americans its that time of year To celebrate our country by drinking massive amounts of beer Let's stand together as one, live the American dream Take shots, pass out, & wake up with our pants ripped open at the seems Let's glorify this day in your sluttiest tops and your tightest pair of tsubi jeans Even though we have no fucking clue what Memorial Day really means!!

Mashas House
Sunday May 28th, at 2pm
XXXXX Crest Court
Beverly Hills, Ca 90210

There will be a scale at the front door. No girls over 100 pounds allowed in. Start starving yourself now. See you all then!!!

Please make sure to RSVP as this is a large party and we need to keep track of who's coming. Thanks

OCD clean up in Aisle 5

This past week I've noticed an alarming rise in my control freak / OCD tendencies. I think it's because I've been cleaning the house and getting ready for our first guests. Everything has to have a place, the soap dish has to be turned at this angle, the towel has to be folded this way.... But it was last night at the grocery store where I really caught myself. Normally when I go to the store I buy about 5 things because we're never home and never cook. But last night I really stocked up on everything. The essentials (I think it's a rule that you have to have jelly, peanut butter, ketchup, mustard, and bread in your house at all times), food for the guests, cleaning supplies, etc. I pulled up to the check-0ut line and started loading the items on the conveyor belt. There was soo much more stuff than usual so I had more things to work with. That's when I realized how much I love organizing the stuff on the belt. Is that weird? Heavy stuff first so it can go on the bottom of the cart, bread all together, produce carefully placed next to one another - everything fit together like a puzzle. I caught myself organizing and rearranging everything and paused. But who really wants to stop that much fun?

I want to be neighborly...

...but is that possible in LA?
Yesterday at work we had a long discussion about neighbors. My friend just moved into an apartment and immediately went around and met all of her neighbors in the building. Introduced herself in the parking garage, knocked on the door across the hall, asked the big buff guy to help move a bookshelf....you get the picture. But she's that kind of girl. I (I fear) am certainly not. But it's not because I don't want to know my neighbors. It's just because it's awkward. My co-workers were giving me grief because I still haven't meet a single neighbor. But, what the hell? I'm the new person. They are supposed to come to me. I shouldn't be knocking on doors. The shitty thing is, I wish I just ran into people on the street. But a) I work 14 hours a day, b) I don't have a dog to walk, and c) I don't have a baby to push in a stroller. Add to that the fact that our driveway is on the corner and when you park and walk to the front door you can't see any house to either side, and you've got a problem.

I was resigned to never meet any neighbors when last night I came home to a gift bag. Inside were homemade cookies and a note that said 'welcome to the neighborhood'. It was from a family half way down the block and it was extremely nice. Now, of course I want to meet them and not be rude, but what do you do when you get home at 10pm and are going out of town for the weekend? I don't know the etiquette. John's idea of making more baked goods and leaving them for the family seems a little too 'bake-off-y". Maybe just leave a note on the door one night? I don't want to scare anyone by sneaking something onto the porch in the middle of the night. That would be weird. Sigh. I am destined to a life of suburban loneliness.

home owners

I have a gardener now. And a pool boy. Or, a pool old man. I didn't think I'd ever say those words....well, ever. It's very very weird. You'll be happy to know that our gardener gave us a white person discount. That is, I opened the door and the price immediately went up 25% from the previous owner's price...the owner who coincidentally happened to be a Hispanic male who spoke Spanish. But I don't care. It's still not terrible and John and I are realistic enough to know that after working 14 hours and day (and Saturdays for John), neither of us want to mow the lawn. Same goes with the pool. I don't have a maid yet but just give me time. ;)

no meditation for me

the previous house owners took the buddha head from the front yard.

i am in mourning.

linoleum nightmare

Last night I had a nightmare. A pretty vivid one...or at least I remember it well because my alarm went off so early, in the middle of my heavy sleep. We finally get our new house keys later this evening so last night I must have been thinking about it. My dream consisted of walking into our new house and then realizing that it didn't look the same as when we bought it. It looked like it would have before the current owners remodeled it. There was cracking linoleum floor in the kitchen, the bathrooms looked like public park restrooms, and the backyard was all weeds. All of this is burned into my memory only because my reaction in the dream was so extreme. I just remember sobbing and having a breakdown...screaming at my realtor that the owners had taken everything with them. I couldn't control myself...After spending so much money I couldn't even begin to hold it together. And my anger and despair was so palpable that I woke up feeling so stressed that my new house was a dump.

Let's hope tonight goes a little bit better than the dream.

safe haven

I've been busy lately. You see, there are a lot of things to do when you're buying a house and moving. Oh yes, I'm buying a house. But 99% of you already knew that. I certainly don't want to scare anyone away from buying, but let me tell you that it is a lot of paperwork. A LOT of paperwork. Too many signatures on pieces of paper I don't understand. Then there's all the loan documents and title documents and inspections and appraisals. It's all a bit of a headache but I just sit back and think how nice it'll be to relax in my new jacuzzi and then I don't mind.

I'm currently in a tailspin trying to decide what color to paint my family room. I think I've got it narrowed down but, as I'm the most indecisive person I know, this has been difficult. Packing has not yet begun but that's what to expect when both members of the household work 14 hour days. Besides, packing sucks. What has begun is shopping. I will be in trouble very soon. But a new house requires new things!

I leave you with a picture of my new zen buddha garden where I will meditate every morning at sunrise.


No, I will not. But if the owners leave this head in my front yard, it will be AWESOME.
It's so.....us.